Reviewer Profiles

Jan Jan is five years old and prefers to wear his pants backwards. He lives on a farm and is afraid to go outside because of the chicken gangs. His favorite things are big fast computers, tiny cars driven quickly by large naked people, toboggans, and any kind of pie. His hobbies include baking pies, writing non-sucking Mac software, getting the party started, creating new and increasingly more subtle ways to annoy his mother, talking about poop, filming his own feet in different locations, and plotting his next move. When he grows up, he wants to be an Avon Lady. He also has a flat pate, as shown by this picture.
Ladd Ladd is ninety-two years old and seldom wears anything but a red Speedo. He lives in a city and is afraid to go outside because it smells funny. His favorite things are big fast computers, music that nobody else has heard yet, shirts with confusing repetitive patterns, and any kind of cheese. His hobbies include fondling and eating cheese, writing non-sucking Mac software, getting his freak on, thinking about the wild improbability of life as we know it, talking about poop, pretending he is really someone else, and falling asleep in the shower. When he grows up, he wants to be a naked mole rat.
Naomi Naomi is twenty-seven years old and has no sense of decency. She lives in the woods and is afraid to pee standing up. She is smarter and funnier and prettier than Jan and Ladd, and she is a wicked lying minx. Her favorite things are barf and poop. She is too lazy to have hobbies. All she wants to do is sit in a corner and think about nothing. She sometimes looks Scandinavian, but here she just looks like a dog.
Piglet Bob Piglet Bob is an imaginary piglet who is super strong and could swim across the Gulf of Mexico without stopping if he wanted to. He lives in Jan's basement and he can also fly. He likes to eat peanut brittle and drink coconut milk and watch golf on television. He plays the banjo on Mondays and has a hauntingly beautiful singing voice. He does not like people who pretend he doesn't exist -- sometimes he gets mad and kicks them to death. He feels sorry afterward, but there you have it. He never poops. Any boring or unfunny PvT reviews are written by Piglet Bob.