October 09, 2003

ChitChat X 1.0pr7

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Displaying only a modicum of fartadoccio, GostCoder’s ChitChat X appears to be an almost-plausible way to access Yahoo chat rooms (unlike, say, Yahoo! Messenger). This is in spite of the technicolor fruit salad coloring scheme, Windows-XPish lists, rather deficient toolbar, and other assorted UI atrocities.

Yet we must question the mysterious “Emotes” feature. It appears to offer canned way of expressing emotions that go beyond mere smilies. Feel free to insert your own name into these actual emotes included with ChitChat:

  • …tries to act like a sweet little angel
  • …arches back (the mind boggles!)
  • …says hurry up and burn the pirated software. We can’t get caught this time…
  • …steals a camel from the zoo
  • …yells are there any hot Canadians in here tonight?? No? What about luke warm ones, I’m not fussy.
  • …checks into a hotel with a carrot and 3 goats before bribing the doorman not tell anyone
  • …gives sad puppy eyes and asks, “Who would like to share some alone time with me?
  • …bursts into the room with a vibrating water bed under one arm and a surfboard under the other
  • …says “Yeargh Mateies, I’m not a software pirrrrrrate”
  • …thinks that dancing on a water bed in stilettos is a bad idea
  • …runs up into the woods naked with the entire brass section of the London Philharmonic for a night of lunacy

GostCoder, your application appears near-perfect… for sexually repressed software pirates! Since this appears to constitute the bulk of Yahoo’s chat user base, we do not consider this a negative. In fact, we suggest turning off your profanity filter by default, as it converts an innocent mention of the American Plywood Association into the “American Plywood [bleep]ociation”. Is this any way to work a chat room into a frothing orgiastic frenzy? We were also disappointed in the apparent lack of features that cater to the amateur turtle pornographer. We hope to see this fixed in 1.0pr8.

How did this happen? Don’t try to explain. I can see the truth. It’s all over your face. Someone’s come between us, and I’m still loving you. I know what I must do. It may take some time, to heal my wounded heart. Well, I’m hurt, downhearted, and I’m feeling like giving you a 9.2.

Download ChitChat

Posted by ladd at October 9, 2003 11:57 PM | TrackBack
Comments

Okay, now if only they would make Yahoo Messenger work like this without the craptastic Yahooness of it all.....then I would be able to RP on Yahoo and leave you people alone. You want an incentive to make good software? There ya go.

Posted by: Laemkral on October 10, 2003 01:26 AM

Lay off, there was obviously a lot of effort put into this.

Posted by: Anonymous Coward on October 10, 2003 05:46 AM

You're new here, aren't you?

Posted by: on October 10, 2003 07:49 AM

You're also stupid here

Posted by: Previously Insane on October 10, 2003 08:00 AM

Tell me that the "I know what I must do" is a Ween quote.

Posted by: Wagglesphere "Bags O' Stuff" Jimmison on October 10, 2003 09:11 AM

Does anyone over the age of 13 even use chatrooms anymore? Or have we all graduated to forums? I love chat services though, Like MSN Messenger. They are a convenient way to call your friends names while looking at your favorite celebrity nudity site. I hate that my Hiptop uses AOL, becuase i feel my life already has too many ties to AOL. AOL owns a portion of my company, and that bothers the shit out of me. But as long as I don't have to answer to some ass-faced AOL upper managment then I'll survive.

Posted by: Nick on October 10, 2003 10:07 AM

I think the anonymous coward guy was probably the person who created the program. Who else would whine in favor of the lesser of the two Yahoo Chat emulators (Charla is better).

Posted by: fuddes on October 10, 2003 01:30 PM

Obviously the author strained quite heavily to push this piece of crap out.

Posted by: Norm O. Tidwell on October 10, 2003 01:54 PM

Norm, I have to disagree. Its not a piece of crap, it just needs to be reworked and revised to improve many of the features. Some of the fault lies with Yahoo, as those emoticons are built into the Yahoo! Chats. For a user created program, it's pretty decent. The main flaw is its association with good old Yahell, which clearly is the cause of the high score.

Posted by: Laemkral on October 10, 2003 02:14 PM

Dear Laemkral,

You take your own opinion way to seriously. If it appears on PvT, it must be crap (duely noted by the law of physics that unaquivically states that if you piss on an electric fence, your little general will not salute the commander in cheif) and therefore you need to be reamed out. I think you are suffering from hypoxia induced by excessive bobbing for turds in an open latrine at a Homer Simpson donut eating contest. I am assuming you are smart enough to recognize the stupid pun in my previously posted comment, yet you responded to it in a serious manner. This makes me think that your mama forgot to breast feed you as a little child, unless of course you care to admit you totally missed my pun.

People who use chat programs are propeller head weenies at best and are prime candidates for the wood chipper out back.

Posted by: Norm O. Tidwell on October 10, 2003 02:44 PM

Actually, I missed the pun. My sense of humor was severly damaged as a child when I decided to take an axe to it, and also I was never any good at puns when I participated in Comedy Sportz during my high school education. Puns just ain't my thing. As evidenced by the lack of any puns what so ever in this post. Yep....not a one.

Posted by: Laemkral on October 10, 2003 04:02 PM

The noxious effluvium that cascades from Norm's brain to his fingers and into this comment section on a daily basis should be subject to treason laws. If I had the wherewithal to read (and understand) the entire Patriot Act, I'm sure I could do him for heresy. (this is completely unrelated to the =[]=, by the way.) Scientific studies have shown that the sheer impotence of his statements can cause blindness in pigs.

To the self-proclaimed anonymous coward: You don't have to hide behind nebulous monikers. We're all men here and if you are, in fact, the creator then come out and defend your program. Verbal sparring cleanses the soul.

Posted by: Nick on October 10, 2003 04:21 PM

Dear dear precious Nick,

Holy shit Batman, an actual come back. Shut me up and get outta here! The comeback doesn't make sense, but I feel oh so much better now.

NICK LOVES ME! NICK LOVES ME! NICK LOVES ME! NICK LOVES ME! NICK LOVES ME! Nick, do you want to squeal like a pig for me?

Don't worry Nick, there are worse fates in life...hmmmm...let me take that back.

Posted by: Norm O. Tidwell on October 10, 2003 04:38 PM

oh, yay.

Posted by: Nick on October 10, 2003 05:14 PM

ChitChat is actually based on source code from the once-wonderful (and once only way to access Yahoo chat outside of crappy Java web browser on the Mac) miChat.

Seth, the creator of miChat then decided to give up development and handed out the source code to GostCoder (formerly known as HexialDecimial, a bipolar, heavy on meds, 16 year older).

This was probably the biggest mistake dear Seth made.

GostCoder bloated miChat with every useless feature you could think of (breaking "new ground" by adding weather forecasting within the app), completely mutilated the user interface and renamed the new monster ChitChat.

He then released a carbonized version compatible with Mac OS X, and what was once ugly but usable in OS 9, became abominable and unusable in OS X.

GostCoder was later forced to release the source code by creator of the program.

I'm really really glad this piece of shit software was finally 'recognized' by PerversionTracker staff.

Posted by: John Smith on October 10, 2003 11:11 PM

Beep

Posted by: Phantom Beeper on October 11, 2003 12:14 AM

beep this, you mongoloid.

Posted by: Nick on October 11, 2003 01:01 AM

Hey, ladd is running a Panther pre-release? Or is it GM, already? ;-)

Posted by: l33ch4 on October 11, 2003 06:13 PM

Hey, thanks for reviewing my app. Just wish the review was longer, probably could have gone for a few more paragraphs and made some more good cracks at ChitChat. Still a good job though.

'twas a fun read

Thanks,
Gostcoder

PS: MacOS X users might also want to check out Charla, an other yahoo chat client.

Posted by: GostCoder (the developer) on October 17, 2003 02:39 AM

One of the things I like about ChitChatX is the fact that it isn't loaded down with bells and whistles. I can get in and chat. I can still change my fonts and colors and all that stuff. But I don't have to worry about some other Yahoo chatter being able to take over my Webcam behind my firewall and secretly capture footage of me enjoying my favorite porn sites. And I don't have to listen to all the voice yammerings of "other" sexually repressed computer geeks over whether the Enterprise could take on the Death Star or not. (That's the Enterprise-E of course). Gawd, I can't get this ringing out of my head.

Keep up the hauntings, Gost.

Posted by: Pavlovs_Disease on October 18, 2003 06:36 PM

WOW, My some emotes are popular. All I can say is MOOOOOOOOOOOOOF. If I have to be a sexually repressed software mechanic that owns a camel and has unusal fun in the Macintosh Chat Room, to use ChitChat. HELL YEAH. "To Each Their Own" and ChitChat covers most of the kinks...

-MooF

Posted by: Cow_DV on October 20, 2003 03:25 PM

WOW, Some of my emotes are popular. All I can say is MOOOOOOOOOOOOOF. If I have to be a sexually repressed software mechanic that owns a camel and has unusal fun in the Macintosh Chat Room, to use ChitChat. HELL YEAH. "To Each Their Own" and ChitChat covers most of the kinks...

-MooF

Posted by: Cow_DV on October 20, 2003 03:25 PM
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