War is not healthy for fancy chickens and other living things.
Sponsored by
L337.com
iPong 2.0 follows hot on the heels of its predecessor, iPong 1.0, which took the pong-playing, media-watching public by storm. Version 2.0 makes several important improvements to the core pong-media capabilities, such as fixing bugs etc. etc. Exciting as this mental imagery may be, tear yourself away and prepare yourself, for here is iPong 2.0, and it’s packin’ barnyard animals in quantity.
Although we are for the most part greatly impressed with the latest installment in the iPong franchise, its failure to address the “flickering pong” bug greatly disappoints us, much like the exciting confluence of Dijon mustard and mayonnaise did the first time we tried it. This particular anomaly appears even worse in our included screenshot, but should provide the reader with a sense of the herky-jerky insanity burbling inside.
In a stroke of pure genius, iPong 2.0 includes an event reminder function, which proved invaluable for reminding us when to eat, “drop the kids off at the pool”, and reset the nutria snares. After two solid days of pongy action, we awoke from our psychedelic movie-induced (see screenshot) trance to write this review. Perhaps it was the constant barrage of MacInTalk taunts, or the cows randomly flying across the screen that eventually woke us. Either way, we lost several days of our pathetic corn pone-packed life to this “game.”
Damian Prendergast, if that’s your real name, although your software is otherwise a masterpiece, the crazy flickering means winning at this pong game requires a level of clairvoyance that only The Amazing Kreskin possesses. Please accept a bump of one point from our previous review, giving you an entirely respectable 7.5.
Posted by jan at July 22, 2003 10:50 PM | TrackBackNorm O. Tidwell, you are hereby unbanned from posting comments. But watch yourself, old chum!
Posted by: Jan on July 22, 2003 10:55 PMArmpit hair is still gross as hell. Just shave it off, people. And that goes for men and women alike.
Posted by: fuddes on July 22, 2003 11:15 PMI find it insulting that you call me expired chopped up fish bait! Old chum indeed! Do the indignities ever stop from the PvT staff? You WILL be hearing from my lawyer.
Like the Vorlons say, "I have always been here."
Posted by: Norm O. Tidwell on July 22, 2003 11:19 PMI was just thinking, someone should come up with a program called iBong. Then we could say, "What were you smoking when you came up with this program!?"
Posted by: Norm O. Tidwell on July 22, 2003 11:45 PMI'm afraid, Norm O., that you might have trouble making Jan hear from your lawyer. Unfortunately, the latter is still smouldering under a partially burnt cross on my lawn. Buggered if I know how he got there, actually, but there you go. Probably one of Belvedere's drunken japes!
Never mind. At least you are free to sully these pages again. A damned good thing, says I!
And Grandma is tickled pink -- she's off-togged already in anticipation of a gin-fuelled return bout of nude backgammon. Damnably unattractive, but undeniable spunk on the part of the old girl!
Posted by: aussie boy on July 23, 2003 02:16 AMDeer Mr. aussie boy,
Does your grandmother shave her armpits? I am getting excited just thinking about it.
Posted by: Norm O. Tidwell on July 23, 2003 02:46 AMNth post!
Posted by: Nth Post Pro on July 23, 2003 11:41 AMhmmmmm....
metal
Posted by: iPost on July 23, 2003 01:00 PMDere Mr Tidwell
"Armpits" is a rather flexible concept when you reach Grandma's age. It has been rumoured that the two patchy tufts of curly hair on areas of pitted and wrinkled skin just above her hips may have been, in a previous era, on or around the area previously known as "armpits". However, years of stretching and slippage, combined with a lifetime of nudely acrobatic callisthenics (backgammon-wise), has rendered any definitive identification of any part of her anatomy virtually impossible. And we'd best not mention that nasty wound on her left ankle, which may or may not once have been ... never mind.
Grandma thanks you for your excitement, however, and is sending an autographed copy of her infamous "victory lap" photograph, which was taken following the 1987 Nude Backgammon championships in Helsinki, Minnesota (she was later paroled two years early for good behaviour).
Your servant
aussie boy
Mmmmm..... herky-jerky with Dijon mustard and mayonnaise. It doesn't get any better. MMmmmm Rghghlaaahahahh!
Hey, Kreskin!--if that is your *real* name--give me back my spoon! Ohhh, it's all bent now. D'oh!
Posted by: Double Worsted on July 24, 2003 01:41 AMHoly crap. I think I went to high school with that developer. (In which case Damian Prendergast sure is his real name.)
Posted by: Pirotess on July 27, 2003 12:34 AM