Oh no, a septic tank reference. Here come the turd comments from Norm O. Tidwell.

Dear Mr. U. D. Mann,

Isn't it strange that YOU brought it up first and as the first post to boot! I was content to pick on Previously Insane and Dr. Science, but now you have forced the issue like explosive diarrhea. This is one of crappiest situations I have ever seen on PvT. YOU have flushed all hope of having a pleasant conversation about DT with your unexpected over flow and who will clean up the shit that plops out of my mouth? Hmmmm...will you do it!? Are you one of those ass wiping experts? People like you make me constipated with disgust. Why don't just crawl back in your stall and play with your plunger and go blind!

I think you owe me an appology, and be damn quick about it!

I was being picked on? Oh.

Dear Dr. Science,

Put this in your theory and smoke it. Trying to explain a technical solution to a Previously Insane person who needs a high pressure enema is like sticking your arm in a blender in front your kids on Christmas morning. "Oh look, daddy has a stump for a arm!" I think I would rather eat plate full of boogers with a little A1 sauce. Though, you could be some kind of evil genius in that you sacrificed your own public dignity to achieve a much higher goal of "confusing" everyone! I salute you for this brilliant display of anti-logic. Personally, I would of shoved a pound of C4 up Mr. Insane's ass and disguised the detonator as GameBoy and gave it to Mr. Insane as a token of my appreciation.

Without guys like you and Mr. Insane, I would be just another whacked out voice in the wilderness. You guys give meaning to my comments. I love you guys! Are you guys into threesomes?

WHAT!?...What?...I was talking about playing golf. Get your minds out of the gutter.

Dear N.O.T.:

If "confusing" the public is a "higher goal," then you are, unquestionably, the Most Exalted Master. You have certainly "confused" me. Also, I'm not quite sure why "confusion" belongs in quotation marks.

Your Friend,
Dr. Science

Well, I find it kind of redundant that we need a special program (calculator) to determine a value (calculator) using two constants which have compareable units of measurement (calculator). Have we all truly become so lazy that we can't follow one of two courses of action?
1. Looking at the time provided by most browsers (oddly enough, Safari doesn't have this) when downloading something.
2. Using the most basic of algebra to figure out a rough estimate.

Oh, wait. I forgot I'm talking about PvT readers....yeah...some of you people need a program like this that works.

I just hope you all have enough brains to determine that the Magic Bullet could only work with just that....magic....

By the way....has anyone seen aussie boy lately? I'm worried about Belvedere's health in the "harsh" Australian winter.

Just a question? Besides us and a minority of observably mentally, and ostensibly verbally, challenged individuals, Does anybody read this site? I ruminate that more time should be devoted to getting some readers to view this well written site then is currently devoted to proving how infantile N.O.T. is. Let us just say “Very” and drop the issue. Now about those shirts. I’ll have one with the chemical symbol for Wolfram on the back.

Dear Previously Insane,

Actually, we are pretty certain you are the only mentally and verbally challenged individual at this site. Please go away and stop pestering us with your increasingly boring posts.

Why can't we all just get along?

Dear Previously Insane,

Does Anybody read this site?

Yes, why?

I find it fantastically ostentatious that a post mocking my vocabulary seems to be using a word bank of 10 syllables or less. Anyway, just wanted to say this… I love you all (no. Not physically, don’t get your hopes up) and I wish you all the best (except N.O.T. For him the best would be “pointy turds” and I wish instead that he will receive a man slave for his collection). The petty arguments are just that… Petty. Can’t we all get along?
-
-
I’m just saying this because I think it will spark some truly interesting posts. One can only hope.

Dear Everybody,

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

We must keep Mr. Previously Insane around and encourage him to participate as much as possible. He is the plucky comic relief. Without him, you would not learn your zoology lessons. Let me give you an example,

(In the Australian crocodile hunter's voice) Notice how tightly Mr, Insane clinches when anything approaches. I got to be careful, because this beasty could kill me in a second. I am going to take this stick and poke at it. Normally this would cause an intense reaction, but I know this one is half a sleep. The sphincter is one of the most dangerous animals on the planet.

See there, how would you know what a real asshole was and its dangers with out Mr. Insane? I suggest we start a relief fund for Mr. Insane to buy him a pencil sharpener. See Mr. Insane, I am only trying to help you! Others may despise you as an annoying little prick, but I loving see you as a prick who is a little annoying.

Mr. Insane, I try as hard as I can to give you opportunities to make clever and cute come backs, butt you don't seems to be able to get with the program. Heck, I would settle for just clever (even though I think you are kind of cute...oh baby, you turn me on...your turd or mine?) Obviously you you are in a class by yourself (ALL BY YOURSELF). If you want to join the rest of us and be an observably mentally, and ostensibly verbally, challenged individual like the rest of us, then we encourage you! Besides, we don't "read" this site, we come here to look at semi nude french women.

Why can't semi-nude french women all just get along?

Dear N.O.T.

I believe you when you say that you are attempting to set me up for droll verbal repertoire. I can see no other rationale that any individual would use such outmoded and hackneyed clarifications in a debate. I do find it slightly sad that you puff yourself up over your ability to make great comebacks when they seem to be either turd related (which frankly is getting a little old) or copy and pasted from someone else’s prior post. N.O.T., when you reply in exasperation to this post delightfully endeavor to use 2 words that someone under the age of 7 would not know and sequence them together in such away as to correspond to a non “ass” associated sentence that possibly even has some wit to it. This is what we call grown-up conversation. Sometimes it’s more fun then the wonderful refutations that Mr. Science, Laemkral, and myself enjoy. Come on N.O.T. You can do it… Just a little further. That’s right… A little cleverer… There we go. You are such a good boy. Yes you are.

I used sentences like "If you want to join the rest of us and be an observably mentally, and ostensibly verbally, challenged individual like the rest of us, then we encourage you!" when I was 7.

I bet you loved your childhood. Although, there is such a thing as growing up “too fast”. One must be careful to do everything in moderation. Except build Tesla Coils. You can’t do enough of that. And don’t believe what your mother said about too much tesla coiling making you go blind. You can play with your coil all you want and it never hurt any- Hey! Who turned off the lights?

16th post!

YOU FAIL IT

The alleged 16th post was actually the 17th. Amateur.

Dear Mr. Previously Insane,

Your comments about me are just out right mean. I am not sure if I want to even come back and read this web site any more. I was just joking around, but you are just mean spirited. You seem to desire to hurt my feelings...

Dear Mr. Norm O. Tidwell,
I might actually read your comments if you didn't type a freaking book every post. It's funny how everyone here wants shorter reviews, and then types a novella in the comments section.

Why can't...

aah, fuck it.

... We all...

Ahh double Fuck it

Dear Mr. Previously Insane,

How rude of you to interrupt me in the middle of my thought. As I was about to say, "You seem to desire to hurt my feelings, as if I had any feelings." Oh yeah, I lied about the first part about you being mean spirited. We all know you can't help the way you are.

Your, "Ahh double Fuck it" comment is sounding more and more like me (if it was really you who posted it). Come to think of it, you are starting to sound a little like the old aussie boy.

Mr. fuddes, with your comment you have struck on the perfect use for DT. It can tell you how long it will take to download my comments.

Morosely, your comments are akin to an opossum without a home… Nobody wants it, nobody knows what to do with it, and everybody hopes it will just play dead.

Dear Mr. Previously Insane,

"Nobody wants it, nobody knows what to do with it, and everybody hopes it will just play dead." Sounds like the exact definition of a turd if you ask me. How interesting....hmmmmm.

A tad Freudian, wouldn't you say?

time flies when you're having fun

Time flys like an arrow
Fruit flies like a banana

I know you are, but what am I?

Apparently a knob-gobbler. Or is it knob-gobblin?

I read PvT postings every day. I don't post myself because you are way too clever for me (that, and I have a life).

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend; inside of a dog, it is too dark to read.

I saw my name mentioned in one of the above posts occuring after my own post. So I felt compelled to write again.

I don't refute anything, and if I do, I really never intended to. I simply write what comes to mind at the time of typing, but I always try to include a mention of the JFK conspiracy, Discordianism, or my favorite hobby (Warhammer 40,000) (okay, so I'll be starting to mention my hobby) in my posts. Why? Cause everyone needs a gimmick.

Now, can Download Time accurately predict the download time for downloading Download Time? That is the question which has plagued mankind and Eldar for all of existence.

The answer? Probably not.

I would like to offer a brief and poorly constructed (but made with the best of intentions) Haiku.

The plain mac in sleep,
CreativePro was a flop,
septic will save us.

Whatever happened to the witty, intelligent posters?

I'm sure you are thinking of the witty, intelligent reviewers, as I cannot recall posters often rising to such heights.

Yes lady (I think?)! I object to being referred to as a witty and/or intelligent poster, whether this reference has been to my behaviour in the past, present, or future! And furtherm-what? You aren't talking about me? Oh. Um...well this is embarassing. Yeah, so how about the weather down in Sydney? Heard it rained recently, I did.....

My Dearest Mrs. Throttlebotty;
I trust this letter finds you well. I write you this warm July day to recall to your attention that small matter that came up when last we met. I'm afraid I must inform you that, despite the passage of years, I still find it most objectionable. Indeed, I can scarcely envisage a gulf of time sufficient to lessen it's sting. I must regretfully state that I still think of you in terms that are not at all fond. May you die.

Rest assured, I shall spare no effort to write you again at the very earliest opportunity. I should dearly miss our correspondence were we to allow it to lapse. Looking forward to your reply.

Sincerely

X.Q.K.

P.S. (You may take some comfort in the knowledge that 'Tiddles' remains dead. Good day, madam.)

Dear Dr. Science,

Aren't you *really* just another disembodied reincarnation of Dr. Magnus Pyke--you know, that science guy who waved his arms around a whole lot on that "Don't Ask Me" T.V. show in the '70s?

The issue that you brought up about the wrong calculation is caused by v1.0 not supporting days. When you uses 3KB/Sec, it figured 103 hours, 51 minutes, and 6 seconds. However since days were not supported, the hours were truncated. This has been fixed in v1.0.1. Now of course if you enter outlandishly large download sizes with a slow download speed, there will still be issues with weeks. But know one in their right mind would download something that big on such a slow connection, and so v1.0 works just fine when used correctly. And there are no estimations made for the results, and I have found it to be more accurate than the times apps give you when they are downloading a file.

As for the name Nance, my girlfriend came up with the name. She has since died in a car accident, and so I dont find it very funny to make fun of the name.

Jacob Hazelgrove
Nance Software

I wonder exactly where the so-called "Doctor" Science matriculted from? ....Ummm, From where which he matriculated...Ummm, his matriculation was from that which.....Shoot!

HE NO REAL DOCTOR! HE AM IMPOSTER!

....on my first post, I screw up. Sheesh, how typical.