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Isn’t one decision-making app (see iDecide) enough for you? How many decisions do you really make, after all, in your laughably limited capacity as a pawn on this galactic chessboard governed by largely unknown physical rules and a vast network of randomly intersecting objects and events that exist on planes far beyond your tiny human comprehension?
Okay, fine. Decision Maker is a random yes-or-no answer generator, very much like your mother. This app is intended to save you from getting “boggled down on thinking about things.” It’s clear that the developer has very little trouble in this area.
Supposedly, this version has “fixed alot of problems when the user enters certain pronouns. It basically makes it so that responces are gramatically correct.” But the spelling still sucks like a leech petting zoo. And upon taking a closer look at this dangling dingleberry of an application, we couldn’t help noticing that the pronoun problem does in fact continue to assert itself vigorously.
You will be saddened, but not surprised, to learn that Decision Maker was created “with a demo version of REALBasic that will expire in 30 days.” And it only allows 32 characters in each question. And the more perspicacious among you may have already noticed that it’s made of metal. We did uncover a few cutesy Easter eggs, but by then our copious projectile vomit had obscured much of the computer screen.
Lee Citron, if that’s your real name, take this 11.0 and raise it as your own.
Who needs FPP?
Posted by: Mickey Knox on June 16, 2003 03:08 PMNobody. I'm sorry I ever dreamed the thing up.
Posted by: Mike on June 16, 2003 03:23 PMMike,
If you had asked Decision Maker 1.64 whether or not FPP was a good idea, you would never have gotten into this mess.
excellent use of screenshots, kids.
Posted by: nurble on June 16, 2003 04:06 PMComon now, thyous app is great!
Posted by: fuddes on June 16, 2003 06:45 PMSurely you're reviewing an intentionally bad product here (Lee Citron = "the lemon" in misspelled French).
I have to say that distributing a program produced with a RealBasic demo license is inspired!
Posted by: podperson on June 16, 2003 07:13 PMI would say 'well done' all around.
Producing a piece of software that is admittedly a random generator of responses to life's questions is obviously not a serious endeavor, except for the part of starting and finishing it. To do so with a demo time bomb shows pluck. The fact that it's crap has almost no relevance, except for scoring purposes. This would seem to be an eleven as eleven was meant to be, although not quite the 11+ that the 'burn-up-the java window' thingie.
However, to avoid score inflation, I would recommend that there be a hiatus of reviews of decision-making programs for the near future, or at least until someone writes one that decides that you have made a 'bad' decision, and overwrites your Document folder to save you from yourself.
Posted by: Leibnitz, N on June 16, 2003 07:50 PMIn reviewing my last post, I was somewhat bothered to see that it almost made sense, so I would like to propose that in the future that we refer to Naomi only as 'No. 1'. This should irritate her immensely, and cause her to go all 'Suzanne Vega' on our asses.
Posted by: Leibnitz,N. on June 16, 2003 07:58 PMWord travels fast. The program has already been updated so that the thyous problem doesn't exist.
But do ask it Should i "or shouldn't I" ?
It's funny.
Also, it told me to accept the lies about JFK so I am going to destroy it.
Laemkral, at least some of the lies are in your head. Wouldn't it be consistent to destroy that as well?
Disclaimer: Please note that a human being's head contains that person's brain. Destroying said head would also result in brain death, and dying.
DO NOT DO THIS AT HOME WITHOUT THE PRESENCE OF A SKILLED PROFESSIOAL!
Posted by: Silverkitty on June 16, 2003 09:13 PMThis isn't funny. You people should be ashamed. There are children starving in Third World countries. PerversionTracker used to be so much funnier before the lunar eclipse of 2001. How dare you force us to read this filth. This isn't fair to the poor, hard-working programmer. RealBASIC is a valid programming language. You should all get a haircut and a real job. The Army would soon knock some respect into you. George W. Bush is the quintessential world statesman.
And now I have to leave. My haemorrhoids need trimming, and my ulcer is on fire.
Posted by: aussie boy on June 16, 2003 10:11 PMOooh, beware of those sloppy French translations -- an avalanche of language purists will bury you beneath a mound of foaming spittle. Which is surprisingly enjoyable, but that's beside the point. Or is it?
Yes, I think "Number One" has a nice ring to it. Would that be shouted in cadence on the parade ground or just muttered reluctantly with secret obscene gestures? It does make a difference. No danger of the Suzanne-Vega smackdown, Herr Liebnitz, and you know why? I think you can guess, but I'll say it anyway:
I come from far away
with pictures in my eyes
of coffeeshops and morning streets
in the blue and silent sunrise.
But night is the cathedral
where we recognize the sign
we strangers know each other now
as part of the whole design.
All righty then -- I'm off to sacrifice a few babies and shave my armpit hair into primitive tribal designs. Do y'all prefer "STONE COLD KILLER" or "BORN TO RIDE"?
Posted by: naomi on June 16, 2003 10:28 PMAussie Boy:
If I thought it would really matter, I would humbly suggest that the tenor of previous conversation might have been such that fuck fuck fuck I don't know why I even bother. Arrrgh! Nary a post is made which is serious, which could not be otherwise interpreted in the negative, without a radical departure from reality. OK?
It is hopeless. I have been irreparably shamed by the biting wit of the PvT team. Realizing the error of my ways, I shall crawl back under the rock whence I originated.
Posted by: Mike on June 16, 2003 10:43 PMNumber one, I think you need to do a number two.
Posted by: Norm O. Tidwell on June 16, 2003 10:44 PMLeibnitz, N: "I would recommend that there be a hiatus of reviews of decision-making programs for the near future, or at least until someone writes one that decides that you have made a ‘bad’ decision, and overwrites your Document folder to save you from yourself."
I agree. Maybe you could ask the program "should I sudo rm -r *" and instead of answering it would just go for it.
Posted by: Durf on June 17, 2003 01:21 AMSorry, Mike. Some days my liver just swells up fit to bust. A couple of brewskis and kick the dog, and I'll be back with a smile in the morning.
Posted by: aussie boy on June 17, 2003 02:43 AMREALly Great but BASIC, program. I mean who could resist this- NOOO don't screw thyous goat. That's Classic!
Posted by: Mr. Bitterness on June 18, 2003 12:28 PMIt's interesting that people would waste their time, and inevitably ours, by writing a program that simulates, in all it's 32bit glory, a 1bit coin flip. Somehow I think Rube Goldberg would be proud.
Posted by: JNXed on June 18, 2003 06:00 PMHoly crap! My program is on the internet, it just started out as a little joke! Get ready for version 2 guys with no bugs and a new features!
Posted by: Lee Citron on June 22, 2003 06:17 PMCongratulations, Lee. You're now an officially recognized purveyor of useless software. I know how proud you must feel.
Pardon me, I'm I'm getting a bit weepy here...
Posted by: Leibnitz,N. on June 24, 2003 08:55 PMA new features? Awesomes!
Posted by: on June 26, 2003 01:55 AM