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This menu extra from Hunter Interactive purports to provide “a menu utility which allows you to monitor the current worldwide SARS outbreak.” With their characteristically acute talent for informative documentation, Hunter warns us that “due to the dynamic nature of the internet, this program may stop working properly at any time.” Translating this marketing jargon, we can conclude that use of SARS will be approximately as enjoyable as a ice-cold Inca Cola enema of the nasal passages.
An application of this sort seems less en vogue than a monkeypox monitoring utility, which has the added comic potential of being epidemiologically linked to prairie dogs, and sundry African rodents. Surely a more edifying moniker would be galloping rodentpox? Luckily for you, the reader, we will not stoop to drawing an analogy between the phrase “prairie doggin’ it,” and a certain operation relating to the bowels.
By providing a massive region menu, with blocks of cankered grey submenu items providing grisly statistics, SARS brings that special touch of cheer to your daily routine. Whether your unbridled optimism needs tempering, or you revel in the signs of pestilence preceding the upcoming apocalypse, you are certain to appreciate SARS more with every passing day. Like a painstakingly choreographed inappropriate gesture of remote origin, we find no utility in this tentaculate phlebotomus-imitator, only menu-borne sorrow and endless outbreaks of chromatically enticing fungi.
Hunter Interactive, you have severely tried our patience, and we hope you will try this 10.7 sometime.
Posted by ladd at June 13, 2003 07:20 PM | TrackBackthis is the funniest thing aI have ever seen...
who in their right minds would ever create a piece of software to do this? hunter interactive I guess.
Posted by: peeweejd on June 13, 2003 07:47 PMI think it is very interesting how un pc friendly PvT is. First you can't see the left side panel which allows you to look back into the archives, or search for a particular piece of software. Second, the comments area window becomes locked so that you can't resize it to you liking. Third, if I wanted to get really picky, the date at the top of the page for the most recent post gets cutoff by the PvT banner. But you may ask "why are you looking at this page if you have a pc?". In response, I have both, a pc and a Mac side by side. Sometimes the pc is online, sometimes the Mac is. But I always want to read PvT.
Posted by: Gizmo on June 13, 2003 08:00 PMThat's interesting, Giz. I've got a windows box running XP pro that accesses PvT under Avant browser with no problems. You might want to make sure that you have the right Java engine loaded.
Posted by: Leibnitz, N. on June 13, 2003 08:15 PMI am running XP pro and viewing with internet explorer (nasty I know, but I am too lazy to bother with another browser, I just use the latest Safari when I want quality browsing) and I don't know what Java engine is loaded or how to find out.
Posted by: Gizmo on June 13, 2003 08:23 PMGizmo:
The solution: Don't use IE. Actually, IE/Win 6 might work, if you're not using that already. But really, any of the Mozilla varients, or possibly Opera would be much better.
Posted by: Jan on June 13, 2003 08:52 PMWhat Jan said. Avant is Opera-derived.
Posted by: Leibnitz, N. on June 13, 2003 08:59 PMOkay, I know, too many posts... But if anybody reading this is really interested/concerned about such things as SARS and monkeypox, I mean 'hypothetically', here's a link that might be more informative than SARS 1.0b:
http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/
It's also currently got a picture of a prairie dog kissing a squirrel.
Mmmmm.
Posted by: Leibnitz, N. on June 13, 2003 09:12 PMand what a picture it is too...
mmm mmm mmm.
Posted by: no body on June 13, 2003 11:43 PMPeople, if you're after a demonstration of remonstration then you're at the right station!
How *dare* you come here and talk technical computer babble! Do you think we're here to be serious? And how *double dare* you come here and talk PC computer babble! XP Pro? IE/Win 6? What is this? Potty-mouth night at a Tourette's convention?
Such blasphemy is intolerable! It's monstrous! It's worse than a nasty dose of gangrenous intestinal chancroids!
As punishment, I am sending you all a lifetime subscription to the Nude Backgammon Channel. Go get 'em, Gran!
Posted by: aussie boy on June 13, 2003 11:56 PMPeopwe, if youwe aftew a demonstwation of wemonstwation then youwe at the wight station!
How *dawe* you come hewe and tawk technicaw computew babbwe! Do you think wewe hewe to be sewious? And how *doubwe dawe* you come hewe and tawk PC computew babbwe! XP Pwo? IE/Win 6? What is this? Potty-mouf night at a Touwettes convention?
Such bwasphemy is intowewabwe! Its monstwous! Its wowse than a nasty dose of gangwenous intestinaw chancwoids!
As punishment, I am sending you aww a wifetime subscwiption to the Nude Backgammon Channew. Go get em, Gwan!
Posted by: Aussie Fudd on June 14, 2003 12:10 AMAussie Fudd. I have seldom laughed so much since Grandpa caught his left testicle in the electric can opener. Well done, old chap. Mind you, you do realise that you're a one-trick pony, and that such admittedly hilarious, yet ultimately banal shenanigans will never be worth perpetrating again.
Enjoy your 15 minutes, however. You've earnt it.
Posted by: aussie boy on June 14, 2003 07:19 AMNotice they listed Taiwan as part of China? Hunter Interactive are agents of the PRC/GMC!
Posted by: Awkward Man on June 14, 2003 07:37 AMAussie Boy: regrettably for you, Aussie Fudd is actually quite the multitrick pony... you see, the posting was generated automatically for me whilst I was asleep abed. It is the output of a feverish new product called First Post Pro (TM) which, as you might imagine, allows its user to capture first post position at PvT. However, as an added bonus, the user can single out any particular poster for mocking, passing their last comment through any of various algorithms, of which Fuddish is just one, before reposting it. Be watching for FPP; I shall release it upon the world very shortly. Muwahahaha!
Posted by: Mike on June 14, 2003 07:45 AMDon't worry everyone. It seems it isn't monkeypox at all. It's just misidentified chickenpox. By the way, what the hell IS monkeypox? Why can't we name it roosterpox thus identifying it with the fowl family? Are the sores shaped like monkeys? Or do they appear only in locations where scratching them makes you look like a monkey?
Who came up with that name? The Warren Commission?
*Wheeze! Wheeze! Cough! Cough! Cough! Hack! Sniffle! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze!*
Posted by: Jackie Chan, c/o Hong Kong on June 16, 2003 10:41 PMwooot! perversiontracker.com editors: get some better punch lines. =P
Posted by: m@ (of Hunter Interactive) on June 17, 2003 09:48 AMm@ = f@.
Posted by: Foxeryn on June 23, 2003 05:46 PMI love you deeply for the Inca Cola reference.
Know where I can get some?
Deeee-lish.
Posted by: tekmo on August 14, 2003 09:35 AM