You know, just know, that good ol' Davey-boy is hard at work on Co-Combust so that you don't have to do all that busy work to operate Self-Combust. My hat is off to you, Mr. Hanauer, and by hat I mean pants.

You do have to credit the author for one thing
,
though
:
Punctuation-on-a-single-line Pro 2000
.
Wow
!
This is so much fun and easy to read
!
My life is complete
!
!

I was afraid to download this since my family has a long history of spontaneous combustion.

Wow. I have almost nothing more to say about this program. This is one of those programs that truly falls into what Perversion Tracker stands for. Useless, not crappy, software. Wow.

Magic Bullet

This widget seems about perfect

ly useless, and real

ly rather dumb.

It's almost

ly brilliant.

Neatski!

I, David Hanauer, the "developer" of Self-Combust, have a few comments to make regarding the recent appearance of my program on Perversiontracker.

1) The program was written with AppleScript Studio, not Cocoa. The multiple times I had to run the program over and over again to perfect it would have generated far too much heat resulting in melted Cocoa, which would have created too much of a mess.

2) Speaking of perfection, I am very glad that my immense attention to detail (e.g. the "!" on a line by itself) was not overlooked by the fine users of this program.

3) The brushed metal interface, although deviating from Apple's Human Interface Guidelines, was chosen due to safety concerns. A metallic surface dissipates heat more quickly. I do hope my focus on safety was appreciated by the users of this program.

4) I was not inspired by selfQuit. I had never even heard about it until someone else complained about the similarity. To assume that one needs "inspiration" to make such a dull program as I have done implies that banality can not be achieved independently from what has come before.

5) I thank you for the fine suggestions for improving future versions. I have already begun planning one with the ping-pong theme that I may call "Self-Paddle", which, it seems, others might wish upon me.

6) I do hope all negative comments made about me and my program are in jest. This program was not intended to, nor should it, actually anger anyone. The only exception to this generalization would be my girlfriend who, indeed, would be angry with me if she knew how I was spending my time away from her. If you want to have pity for me, save it for when she discovers this program.

Thanks.

David H.

i was confused by all of this, until i saw that dave seems to spend most of his time in michigan. then it all became clear, like the clouds parting after a rainstorm of sanity...

We love you, David Hanauer. You are a prince, a gem, a paragon who has no equal.

P.S. You will, of course, inform us immediately of any future "improvements" to any software you may write? Thank you. (Our most heartfelt sympathies to your girlfriend.)

I for one actually appreciate the metallic interface for this particular application;--it does feel much safer.

So far this is also the only program where the use of a self-trashing disk image is prudent.

Having downloaded and used this self-combusting sack of fecal matter, I have come to the conclusion that it should not have been reviewed on PvT.
PvT is for Apparently Useless Software and Self-Combust is self-described as an attempt to get a bad review, therefore it is useful. Admittedly it is only useful to the developer who used it to decrease his integrity and marketability in the programming world, but it is useful nonetheless.
Furthermore, the program did not crash nor did it corrupt or alter any of the files on my machine, therefore I do not think it deserves an 11.
My biggest complaint is that the programmer double-spaced after every period in the Read Me file, proving that he learned typing on a typewriter and is, therefore, old.

Hey if you ever need a job i'm shure that microsoft would love to have your ability to make aplications quit and delete spontaniously.

Sorry, Brendan, but that post is already filled. They have several such employees in the Windows division alone.