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Combining the most stunning failures of psychology and philosophy, iDecide sets forth not to operate the first hot-dog stand to be awarded three Michelin stars, but instead to use Baron’s expected-utility theory in order to calculate which of several actions one should take.
Naturally, we expected the utility of iDecide to be quite low, and only in this were we wholly fulfilled. In the category of lesser fulfillments were the actions we took on the advice of this program, including attempting to convert all our old sour cream into refreshing massage oil, and that time we built a new engine for our airplane out of diaper wipes. Certainly some will contend that our expectations were completely askew when we expected positive results from this hideously malformed ventures. These doubters, we refer to the read me, where it is clearly stated that “if you always use this method to make your choices you’ll be statistically happiest.” And this being an iApp, we expected the process to involve minimal thinking on our part, and thus were rudely let down at every juncture.
Should the author release a Final Decide Pro, we would certainly be more forgiving of the challenging multiple-slider interface, but this is clearly inappropriate in an entry-level deciding utility. For iDecide, we suggest replacing the complicated slider-and-progress bar interface with an elegant speech-based system, requiring the user to gesticulate wildly while providing simultaneous auditory input. In simpler terms: shouting and waving of arms. Combining the sheer perfection of this input method with less poopsome window resizing would make iDecide a real wiener.
Christian Hedin — we were unable to decide on a score for your little donation of imitation molasses, so we’re just going to leave it up in the air. Readers can fill in their own score. Whatever dude. It’s tote-cool.
Posted by ladd at May 22, 2003 06:34 PM | TrackBackiDecide told me to keep with my current dental plan.
http://www.fmyortho.com/images/miscellaneous/bad_teeth.jpg
Posted by: Mr. Bungle on May 22, 2003 07:03 PMIs this a "sophisticated" Magic 8-Ball?
Posted by: aussie boy on May 22, 2003 07:14 PMStrange, IDecide told me to stick with my dental plan too!
Indeed, it would seem that iDecide is limited exclusively to decisions about dental plans. I asked it if I should toss my sack of kittens in the river, and it said that it's better to keep my current plan, as one with Aetna would cost hundreds more!
I HAVE Aetna insuance! hopefully this will be fixed in a later version (of my healthcare.)
I have it on good authority (my sack of kittens) that a beta version of iDecide was responisble for the Keating S&L scandal of the mid 80's in Ohio.
Those kittens don't Lie (or swim too well.)
Posted by: The Sea Captain on May 22, 2003 10:14 PMWeird. I don't have Aetna Insurance but it told me to get some, and gave me a phone number.
Then it told me that Aussie Boy was really Ladd who lived in Texas.
Posted by: Leibnitz, N. on May 22, 2003 10:37 PMiDecide, I'm Glad I met-ya-cide!
Kill me now
Posted by: stones on the inside on May 23, 2003 08:35 AMI have a big wiener.
Posted by: longdongsilver on May 23, 2003 10:52 AMI use iDecide to make every single decision that Cheney allows me to make. I'm the one who iDecided to change my health plan to Aetna, I'm the one who iDecided to bomb Iraq so that Cheney's company could rebuild it (again), and I'm the one who iDecided to wave at Stevie Wonder.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn?pagename=article&node=&contentId=A45517-2002Mar6¬Found=true)
PS: I'm stoopid
Posted by: George W. Bush (President) on May 23, 2003 11:18 AMiDecide also helped me lower my cholesterol, or switch to casteroil I'm not sure. I'm switching back to the 8 ball that guy on my corner sells.
Posted by: Mr. Bungle on May 23, 2003 12:12 PMHas anyone considered using iDecide to determine the rating for iDecide?
I don't think I'll be switching dental plans as I am fully covered by my parents' plan.
Finally! It's not even year 2063, but we still get our fair share of Vulcan technology!
Posted by: Anonymous Coward on May 23, 2003 03:46 PMI just downloaded the new Version Tracker Pro 1.6.1 and you know who designed it? Ladd Van Tol!
Posted by: Athanasius Booby Chalcedonian on May 23, 2003 04:04 PM... that's 2.6.1 to you.
And now you know why VT Pro won't be featured in a scathing article.
Well, if this isn't the most useful thing since New Caledonian flint-headed haemorrhoid trimmers ...
Posted by: Dr Anthrops on May 23, 2003 08:11 PMIs is just me, or should one of the questions in the FAQ be "What made you do this?"
Posted by: Fidget on May 23, 2003 11:08 PMI consulted iDecide and it made me realize it is way smarter than I will ever be and not to fool with it !
Posted by: Johnna on May 24, 2003 10:14 AMHelping you mak more rational desicions since 2003.
2003.
2003?
Posted by: someone you know, maybe it's Sheila, maybe it's not, maybe it is? BTW, this was posted on May 25, 2003 07:36 AMHas anyone noticed that "Van Tol" (as in Ladd) and "Version Tracker" have the same initials?
Um-ah.
Posted by: Will Robertson on May 25, 2003 11:51 PM