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Having recently come in contact with many applications made with a certain development environment, we can confidently say that there are many worse ways than the aforementioned development environment to develop publicly released software. Of the many ways, FileMaker is just slightly worse than shouting at a bevy of warthogs to encourage them to rewrite Adobe Photoshop in Perl.
The developers of BuCarVer appear to have taken the class, “Harry Potter-style Text for Underprivileged Kangaroos,” as evidenced by the notched and scraggy text peppering the interface like all-too-many wood splinters in a bowl of alphabet soup. When we first saw this text, we were nearly knocked out of our chairs by its extreme 3D-ness. Indeed, the beveling brought on an acute attack of vertigo as the sharp-looking letters jumped out at our face.
BuCarVer brilliantly holds over many FileMaker features, like a zoom control for the entire interface (FileMaker record-switching controls excepted), a Scripts menu (Quick! Someone write a script that badges a big barfy-face icon on all the cards!), and many near-useless menu items (I just love “About FileMaker Pro Runtime!”).
At first BuCarVer’s multimedia capabilities appeared capacious in their scope, but alas, it does not allow attaching both a picture and sound to the same record. That could have been fun, especially when combined with sounds from CrowdPleaser. Although I did not have any scanned business cards on hand to enter into the database, I did enjoy creating a card for “Gorbagel McHeimer,” which alas, I can never allow to see the light of day, for fear of offending anyone with that name.
Ozzieburn Solutions, although the multimedia was briefly amusing, and the card-viewing could be useful for card-laden persons, the horrendous graphics and yeast-leavened interface whips us like a tornado that has just hit the local Manure Bank, therefore we feel justified in awarding you an 8.4-in-a-blanket (think pigs).
Posted by jan at April 3, 2003 01:16 PM | TrackBackfp! Suck it byatch!
No, wait... Wrong site :-(
Time to get off the computer I guess
Posted by: Anonymous Coward on April 3, 2003 07:16 PMWatch yer tounge.
Posted by: Gorbagel McHeimer on April 3, 2003 07:19 PMThis application looks just fine to me with red-blue 3D-glasses on, so I really don't understand what all the hooplah is!!!
(Note: **Not** the red-green glasses; the red-blue ones.)
This application also looks absolutely wonderful now that i have come back from the bar...one bottle of Bourbon later, and i am now heading on a downloading spree using only software from here.
It all looks so great.
One more drink and i think i am going to start loving brushed metal
U fergut the "Downlewd BuCarVer" Lünk. This is no fair. Not fair. N´t.
You got the idea.
Jan, Jan, Jan. Once again, in your desperate puerility, you have plucked from the air an Australian example to illustrate your mindless ramblings. Have I not already unleashed the epithet "dead dingo's donger" upon you? Were you not cowed enough by that? Apparently not, for now you choose to drag an innocent animal -- and one of our national symbols no less -- the majestic kangaroo, into your slurry heap of fun!
First, there are no "underprivileged kangaroos". They either live in coastal theme parks, far from their native habitats, and fawned over by millions of local and overseas tourists, or are shot dead to save them from themselves (overpopulation kills, people!). How lucky could one animal be?
Second, imagine the international outcry if you chose the Patagonian pangolin, the Tibetan waltzing pig, or the Transylvanian wampyri bat to degrade with your second-rate mumblings.
Have you no shame? No honour? No dignity? If the answer to these three questions is "yes", please send a money order for US$25 to the Australian Consul-General in Ashkhabad, whereupon you will receive your Australian passport and citizenship papers forthwith.
PS: If you're looking for an Australian animal to bag out, try the tiger leech. No-one likes them (especially since most of them are sitting members of the Federal Parliament).
PPS: I really do love your work, but I have far too much time on my hands these days ...
Posted by: aussie boy on April 3, 2003 10:02 PMI believe you meant "bevel", not "bezel" ...
Posted by: nitpicker on April 3, 2003 10:32 PMI love the sound of the tiger leech. Perhaps I will use it! The very name of most things Australian is funny to me, which is why I plan on bringing the platypus (the duck mole) into my "slurry heap of fun" next.
Posted by: Jan on April 3, 2003 10:56 PMHey, find your own material, matey! Or are you a tiger leech in disguise? Hmmmm?
As for the "duck mole" -- the only time I've ever heard that expression is when someone throws a schooner of beer at a sheila in the pub, and someone else yells out to save her from being hit by it: "Duck, mole!"
Now I have work to do, and I'll thank you to remember it!
Posted by: aussie boy on April 4, 2003 12:08 AM[interjection]! [transitive verb] up the [noun], [surname]! We're [anachronism]!
I had wondered what I would do this weekend, now I know... scanning business cards to put their images into a database.
Hopefully I'll still have time left over to finish my website consisting of a single 300K GIF on each page.
Posted by: Rob on April 4, 2003 03:57 PMEverybody here needs a business card. It's just the way things work.
And if not, then screw you.
Posted by: PerversionTracker is Perverted on April 8, 2003 08:56 PM