War is not healthy for fancy chickens and other living things.
Sponsored by
L337.com
San Francisco, CA — PC World Magazine today announced the purchase of PerversionTracker.com, previously the publisher of a particularly poopy periodical, effective immediately. “Ladd and Jan are two people with a lot of experience in the shareware scene,” said Chet Douglass, PC World Managing Editor. “We feel that PerversionTracker.com is perfectly poised to spearhead our new shareware review initiative, with a focus on useful, well designed applications.”
“I am very proud and extremely excited to be given this wonderful opportunity,” said Ladd Van Tol, PerversionTracker’s Large Main Reviewer. “We’re going to remake ourselves as a serious, useful site. We wish to become a well-respected member of the Windows community, and no longer spend our time using ugly Macintosh shareware.”
The new PerversionTracker.com will feature daily reviews of Windows applications, primarily from small developers, like Aleksandar Krujmnik Software and WebVacuum LLC. As part of the changes, a new rating scale will be adopted. Applications will be rated on a 1-5 star basis, with many factors, including as ease of use and functionality determining the final score.
As part of the changes, the PerversionTracker.com site will undergo a facelift. “The old site was tired and worn, with very little color.” said Jan Van Tol, Small Backup Reviewer and Webmaster. “We feel the new look will help us build a strong e-presence and contribute to our synergistic brand identity.”
“This is a bunch of crap,” said Naomi Van Tol, PerversionTracker’s former Reviewer of Nature. “Those stupid siblings of mine! Offer them a little cash and WHAM, they sell out! Well I’ll show them! I’m going to post angry comments here everyday until they cave to my demands!” When asked what her demands were, Van Tol became belligerent and uncooperative. “I don’t have to talk to you! You can’t make me!” she screamed.
PC World is a leading computer magazine, featuring technology news you can trust. PerversionTracker reviews Windows software.
Posted by ladd at April 1, 2003 03:02 PM | TrackBackAhhhhhh!!!!!
Posted by: Dave Z on April 1, 2003 03:30 PMYay
Posted by: Yay on April 1, 2003 03:32 PMPerversiontracker... what a load of hooey.
Posted by: Ian Schray on April 1, 2003 03:33 PMooh oooh ahhh eeeeeck ohh ohh.
Posted by: Monkey are Funny on April 1, 2003 03:34 PMBoo.
Posted by: Wilmingon Willie Brodie III on April 1, 2003 03:35 PMSweet!
But you should get rid of that crappy PNG because the alpha blending doesn't work right in IE on Windows. Hardly the message you want to be sending these days.
Posted by: not you on April 1, 2003 03:47 PMIronically, this does more to futher the Mac cause than Perversion tracker originally did. Instead of highlighting crappy Mac software, which is kind of a pro-PC thing to do, now it highlights evil Windows software, thus providing reasons to switch over. I say "YAY!" to the PvT team. And naomi, best of luck with the guerrilla war of comments. I'll support your actions by harboring your IP addrees!
Posted by: Laemkral on April 1, 2003 03:48 PMFirst product to review: Windows .NOT (shipping RSN). WIll set new grounds by getting absolutely no stars whatsoever based on a scale of 1 to 5.
Second product to review: The stuff to help you switch from the Evil Empire(tm) to Mac. Will also set records by getting more stars than can fit on a single page.
:grin
Posted by: Jon on April 1, 2003 04:00 PMGreat looking site! Needs more orange, though. Yea, more orange and this site will be really hip. Maybe a few flashy animated Gifs. Choosey webmasters choose Gif!
Posted by: Nero on April 1, 2003 04:20 PM> The new PerversionTracker.com will feature daily reviews
> of Windows applications, primarily from small developers
Therefore… PvT remains committed to the review of SHYTE-software. Kudos!
With exception to the colour changes--which presumably could appeal only to M$ Window$ u$er$--the only other changes I foresee under circumstance such as these are as follows:
- A greater variety and number of SHYTE, SHYTE-related, SHYTE-o-ramic, SHYTE-o-rrific, and SHYTE-tastic software available from which the PvT editors may select for review.
- The web page will be rewritten to strictly impose upon the viewer a fixed column width in accommodation only to those uncommon browser windows whose visible regions are "maximiZed" and whose dimensions are presented in the ratio of 4:3.
< RALPHWE > (Pardon me.)
D. Worsted
P.S.
Indicated herein is the correct spelling of the word "shyte" as it is most preferably employed in the lower-eastern region of the Dominion of Canada.
Having undergone a thorough examination at the hands of my personal physician, personal legal counsel, and personal bank manager, I shall henceforth be issuing a writ against this organisation for undue stress and mental torture. The very thought of such shenanigans!
Miss Pillock, round up the wildebeests and meet me at the barge! We leave for Vienna at once!
Posted by: aussie boy on April 1, 2003 06:02 PMWorld's worst PC software?
Gotta be Jetformflow, the premier database/formfillingout software, that is so badly designed that among other things, it is the ONLY software I've found with a LEFTHAND scroll bar. (it also loses your data regularly)
Death to Jetformflow!(metaphorically speaking)
And I was betting on Perv-Track being taken over by ReelBaySick...
Posted by: Alex on April 1, 2003 06:54 PMNeXTstep has left-handed scrollbars too.
Posted by: Double Worsted on April 1, 2003 07:35 PMLove the banner rollover. You guys are going to be a great addition to the PC World family.
Posted by: Todd Ralleigh on April 1, 2003 10:14 PMBlue and Orange?!?!
OH GOD IT BURNS
Posted by: PICxpert on April 1, 2003 11:20 PMClever april fools joke.
I played a good one earlier today:
This is the iChat conversation I had with my friend:
ME: Did you hear that the National Time Association and Calender Affiliates goofed up, and today is actually still March 31st? it's all over the news.
HIM: What?!
ME: Apparently it was some weird glitch that has been propegating through floating-point rounding errors for years.
HIM: weird...
ME: it's gonna temporarily screw up satellites and everything.
HIM: dang, thats gonna suck
After 4 hours of internet research, he became a little skeptic of my claim...
Posted by: what's it to you? on April 2, 2003 01:36 AMThe april fool gag at applelust.com was better.
Posted by: spooky on April 2, 2003 10:39 AMHappy 1st everybody. I'm posting on the 8th, what the hell.
Posted by: PerversionTracker is Perverted on April 8, 2003 08:44 PMGlad to see you guys finally coming to your senses. ;P
Posted by: Rixster on April 16, 2003 07:13 AM