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Like boiling wads of reanimated squid-flesh beneath a calm exterior, a hidden menace lurks within many seemingly benign applications. That menace is the graphical smiley. Tainting otherwise flawless snippets of Objective-C code, the graphical smiley offends basic decency every time its leering visage swarms into view.
Further, excessive use of smileys can only serve to twist otherwise sane conversations into emotion-drenched puddles of meaningless winking, smirking and grimacing. By condoning this sort of behavior with iChat’s built-in smiley functionality, Apple has debased the English language and turned “forsooth, I swoon,” into ”:(”. Can this be good? Is our children learning!?!
This gradual erosion of our intellectual capacity will likely leave us all numb automatons, mindlessly stirring vats of genetically engineered yeast that supply us with subsistence levels of nutrition. Where, I ask, are the fresh fruit and green grassy fields we require? Where is our giant jar of Nutella? Only by vigorously defending our innate rights of liberty, justice, and the pursuit of mockery can we hope to defend ourselves against the Global Monkey Conspiracy that threatens all of humanity.
In addition to the removal of smileys from chat text, iChat Smiley Remover also disables the smiley popup menu — this is, I assure you, a small price to pay. By ripping out smileys by their very roots, Cloud13 has provided a solution to this vast societal malaise, winning them their very own 1.4 of usefulness.
No blood this time! I am on a pooping roll!
Posted by: I LUV /. on March 5, 2003 04:21 PMI like pie.
Posted by: Burt Reynolds on March 5, 2003 04:52 PMI think pasteries are better, but hey, each man to his own.
Posted by: Jordan on March 5, 2003 05:51 PMFreakin' strudel lovers!
Posted by: Rocky on March 5, 2003 06:00 PMSpeaking of pastries, what does a poopin roll taste like?
Posted by: Nacho on March 5, 2003 06:01 PMMmmmmmm pie
Posted by: Bob on March 6, 2003 12:38 AMThere is no conspiracy.
:):) Those icons are :D! I'd
Posted by: Thuros M. on March 6, 2003 10:16 AMSounds like it should be listed in the "Non-Sucking Software" category.
Posted by: SeedyRom on March 6, 2003 10:24 AMactually i like the sound of this. I have nothing against smileys, but I don't like the graphical interpretations -- they're much clearer when plain text. And also with graphical smileys, sometimes you get an accidental smiley when you paste in a URL or something with a lot of punctuation
Posted by: phil on March 6, 2003 01:20 PMI was driven mad the other week when a friend was trying to tell me the exact syntax of a long command I had to copy into the terminal; and bingo, it contained the string :p somewhere in the middle of it, so iChat turned it into a smiley. A well-deserved 1.4, I'd say.
Posted by: Alison Scott on March 6, 2003 03:04 PM"Is our children learning!?!"
LOL
Posted by: Our Children on March 6, 2003 05:51 PMI had jello today.
Posted by: Alvarez Gozgonolo on March 10, 2003 06:48 PMWhen come back, bring pie!
Posted by: Weebl on April 28, 2003 01:03 AMWhat happens if I send :p to a user who is NOT using iChat Smiley Remover? I mean half of the idea of removing emoticons is to remove them from messages _generated_ by me.
MSN Messenger has an option to not display emoticons, but sucky as it is it only works on one end. My :p still turns out as an emoticon on the other side.
Now, where's the "disable smilies for this post" check box...?
:>