Melbourne Temp 1.0

Since experiencing the intoxicating beauty of Melbourne Temp, I have become aware of a great calming effect, almost like that of when you realize that the slugs crawling up your pant legs are all okay, and not harming you. If they were though, lets just say that they would cease to be a problem for you and your allies.

Only an idiot could fail to notice the simple elegance of displaying the current temperature in such a revolutionary way, in this case in the Dock.

That is not all this zen-inducing application provides. It handily assumes you would ALSO like to display the temperature in large colored (sorry, coloured) text in an equally large window, which, once closed will never open again, until that time when a swarm of locusts will ravish the land of all that is good and potable.

Although you might scorn this application for only providing weather information for the city of Melbourne, Australia, you might also be as shortsighted as a barefoot man in a shit kicking contest. You see, the object of this app is not to provide useful weather information for Melbourne residents, but rather to overcome the international community with its hypnotic powers, thus leaving them open to suggestion by agents of the Global Monkey Conspiracy, which we now realize is based in Australia.

Therefore I beg of thee, run away! You must not approach this application, nor listen to its pathetic pleas for help. “Help me!” it will cry. “Please, I have the plague! Some water, please! Augghhh!” Do not be lulled into taking mercy upon this miserable disease-ridden cretin. Do not show interest even when it begins ripping the boils on its flesh out by the roots. It is unclean, and must be burned at the stake!

Robert Stainsby, for dispersion of the plague, not to mention conspiring to conspire, you earn a 7.2, but only because it might be useful to Melbourne residents.

Download Melbourne Temp