War is not healthy for fancy chickens and other living things.
Sponsored by
L337.com
You are tired of being disconnected by your internet provider? You don’t want your internet provider to disconnect you when your internet connection is idle? You want to stay connected even when you are away and don’t use your connection for a long time? Then Internet Connection Keeper is what you need!
Before us on the skunk-skin rug sprawls yet another naked faux pas from the apocalyptic horsemen of AlphaOmega Software. The unleashers of Internet Connection Monitor and Internet Disconnector have clearly jumped the parlous fine line that divides a harmless predilection for the creation of useless software — “I’m just a recreational coder; I can quit anytime I want.” — from a fullblown I’d-sell-my-spleen-for-a-line-of-code addiction.
It’s not easy to look kindly upon a software offering that defaces itself with violent registration demands and refuses to quit, but we tried anyway, oh yes, we tried like gangbusters. And failed. The feeble bright spot in this turbid puddle o’ gloom is the apropos acronym formed by the first initials of its name. However, all other aspects of ICK combine to birth a silent creeping horror that, if translated into casserole form, would be Tuna Surprise With Cauliflower & Tangy Maggot Sauce.
If you poor obsessive schmucks truly desire a bloated $15 app to keep your internet connection open for no apparent reason, well, you are simply not worthy to rest your twitchy little popeyes upon the orange glory of this website. We suggest that you spend that cash on Belgian ale and save your excess credulity for a rainy day.
AlphaOmega Software, as always, you take the urinal cake. We award you a hugely pungent 10.9 — it will turn your stomach sour, but in your mouth it will be as sweet as honey.
Download ICK
Posted by naomi at July 26, 2004 11:48 AM | TrackBackYup.
Posted by: on July 26, 2004 12:15 PMMmmm, tangy maggot sauce...
Posted by: U. D. Mann on July 26, 2004 12:51 PMfree to be three
Posted by: pran on July 26, 2004 01:05 PMI have a big weiner! AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
Posted by: longdongsilver on July 26, 2004 02:07 PMI quote
"Version 1.9:
- The graphical interface has been improved. "
Hey, they gave away my own personal favorite urinal cake! Damn them! That was MINE!!!
And yes UD Mann, it tasted great with tangy maggot sauce. MMMM mmmmmm mmmmm. Now that's good eatin!
Posted by: Walking Contradiction on July 26, 2004 02:44 PMWoo Hoo! Prime number post! Oh yeah!
Posted by: Pan Fried on July 27, 2004 08:46 AMAlphaOmega just needs Charlton Heston, some radioactive freaks, and a bunch of dirty apes to give it moral clarity.
Posted by: Hodag on July 27, 2004 08:49 AMbadger
Posted by: www.badgerbadgerbadger.com on July 27, 2004 09:15 AM
I've actually had turkey maggot soup. Not exactly tangy. The maggots were sort of like barley in terms of mouth feel. Tasted mostly like turkey, of course.
Turkey? WTF. This is the fancy chicken site. And if chicken with tangy maggot sauce ain't fancy, then I'm sure I don't know what is. To get ahead in the food services industry, you really do need to be willing to go the whole nine yards to get that extra little zip that says: "When I were a boy, dem priests sure was nice to me mama, just like Uncle Bob."
Posted by: longdongsilver on July 28, 2004 02:46 AM
º|º
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AlphaOmega. Now where have I heard that name before? Oh, that's right. It's associated with dozens of indispensible apps like CPU Speed Accelerator, the classic Mouse Distance Measurer, and the utterly indescribable Typewriter Keyboard -- well, who doesn't want their Mac to sound like an antique Remington 3B typewriter?
Belvedere, bring me the MAS 7.55 mm, my legionnaire's kepi and a croissant avec fromage -- we're going frog-hunting!
Posted by: aussie boy on July 28, 2004 04:49 PMFor the disarmed amongst our gentle readership, here's a description of the MAS 7.55 mm from a British museum site:
"One of the last rifles produced by the French before their collapse in World War 2. By comparison with other French rifles it is a masterpiece in design."
Posted by: Leibnitz, N. on July 28, 2004 08:30 PMI'd imagine the main functionality of this program could be achieved by issuing PPPD a few commands from the Terminal.
Specifically, the persist command. Straight from the man file:
Persist: Do not exit after a connection is terminated; instead try to reopen the connection. The maxfail option still has an effect on persistent connections.
Which could be integrated into a shell script, and launched from Finder. Of course, then you wouldn't be able to waste $15.
Posted by: bedouin on July 30, 2004 01:57 PMArrrgh we set sail in the morning
Posted by: Bigfoot on August 3, 2004 07:39 PMAye! Man the giblets and stay the mainjackals!
Pirates we live and pirates we die!
Scurvy hearty parrots walk the gangplank! Aaargh! Eeeeek! Ooooogh!
Where's me damned patch? This eye's leaking like a politicians moral framework! Aaargh!
Posted by: aussie boy on August 5, 2004 05:52 AM
Leaking indeed, Mr. Boy.
There's an audible hiss...
Posted by: Leibnitz, N. on August 6, 2004 08:06 PMAnd I thought that was the members of the Washington press corps registering their disgust when Bush entered the room.
Silly me.
Posted by: aussie boy on August 18, 2004 09:25 PM