I WON'T SAY IT! EVEN I AM NOT THAT EVIL.

FEAR ME!

#2#2#2 fu

... Well this gives me plenty of time to watch and re-watch the movie "Flubber"

I have a big weiner!

They live! They live! Hooray! Once more the mating cry of the Lesser Breasted Tit Wobbler will shrill through the treetops of the Patagonian wilderness. No longer will the hollow grunt of outraged RealB*SIC developers echo through the fuggy swamps of the Kyrgyzstanian Blench Flats.

Oh, hooray! I thought the day would never come!

Quickly, Belvedere! Take a sledgehammer to that crate of Chateau Sulfurique! Tonight we punish our tastebuds and our livers to remind us that we're alive.

Let the bells ring throughout the land! Let there be dancing in the streets! Let the drunken stumblers pee gleefully against the lampposts in the street!

For today the prophecy is realised as foretold, and the Van Tols are once more abroad upon the earth! Hurrah!

Oh, one more thing. Let's not get over-excited, for goodness sake! A bit of decorum, please!

"Had the boring commenters finally lulled the entire Van Tol family into fitful sleep?"

I'd say this is the most likely reason. Such douchies you commenties! Heh. It's too bad it had to be your Pa who told you so.

They haven't reviewed COCK GAME.

And now it's GONE.

Sheesh.

Look, if they think our comments are boring, the least they could do is give us a full front-page review. I mean, a little constructive criticism PVT style could at least give us something to ponder about... or read, for a change.

Bring back the slap-dancing, I say!

You do the dancing, I'll do the slapping!

Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori.

If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood 
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs, 
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud

Danaus, King of Greece, had fifty sons, whom he married to the fifty daughters of his brother Aegistus, King of Egypt. But soon these women thirsted for dominion, and conspired secretly to slay their husbands and to rule in their steads. But the youngest and the most beautiful had a tender heart, which crept from her lips in words of warning to her father and her spouse. Then they were all seized and set adrift in ships upon the sea, which after many storms bore them in safety to a large and uninhabited island. Here they staid and named it Albion, after Albina their eldest sister, and here they maintained themselves by the chase, killing the deer and the boars, and wild bulls, and large birds which they found in the forests with arrows and bolts, and bowstrings, and snares and pitfalls. And while filled with meat and drink, and with lustful thoughts, they lay sleeping on the ground covered with the skins of wild beasts, dark brooding spirits swept towards them from the sky, and encircled them with their shadowy arms, and intoxicated them with their flaming breath. By these were born huge and hideous giants which soon bore others, till they filled the whole land with a strange and fierce crew.

Meanwhile Troy had fallen: the wanderings of Eneas were past: and Ascanius had died leaving behind him his son Silvius. The son of Silvius loved a maid, who became pregnant. Then the wise men and women of the land were sent for, and all those who knew songs of magic art. They cast their lots and found sorrowful spells: that a child would be born through whom both his father and mother would suffer death: that through their death he would be driven from the land, and after a long time would be crowned with honor. His mother died as she gave him to the world, and the child, whom they named Brutus, when he had become a youth, shot his father through the breast a-hunting the deer. His kindred banished him from the land, and he sailed sadly over the sea-streams into Greece where he headed an insurrection against Pandrasus the king, and with such success that the king offered him all his ships, and treasures, and Imogen his only daughter if he would consent to seek another kingdom. So Brutus, with his followers, like Eneas of old, sailed forth upon the waters in search of a new land. After two days and two nights the sea became blue: the wild waves were hushed: they came to a desolate island: its inhabitants had been slain by the pirates: the timid deer coursed over its wasted shores. But they found there a marble temple, and within the fair and beautiful image of Diana. Brutus with twelve wise men, and with Gerion, his priest, entered the temple while his followers remained without. He bore a vessel of red gold in his hand: it was filled with wine and with the milk of a white hind which he had killed. Having kindled a fire by the altar, he walked around it nine times. He called to the goddess beloved of his heart: he kissed the altar and poured the wine and milk upon the fire. "Lady Diana! loved Diana! High Diana!" he cried. "Help me in my need. [Editor's note: Brutus was a well hung chap whith a healthy sexual appetite, in sharp contrast with the actual inhabitants of Britain and their frigid ways.] Teach me whither I may go and wherein I may dwell. [Editor's note: what this really means is "Show me which parts of your Godly body I may fondle and penetrate."] And I will make thee a lofty dwelling and honor thee with great worship. [Editor's note: should be understood as "I shall masturbate and spread my semen on your effigy while thinking about grandma."] Then he spread the hide of the white hind upon the altar, and kneeling upon it fell asleep. In his dreams he beheld Diana floating towards him with sweet smiles. She laid her hands like a wreath of flowers upon his head, saying: Beyond Gaul in the west thou shall find a winsome land: therein thou shalt prosper. Therein is fowl: there is fish: there dwell fair deer: there is wood: there is water: there is much desert: grim giants dwell in the land. It is called Albion.

For thirty days and thirty nights they sailed past Africa and over the lake of Silvius, and over the lake of Philisteus: by Ruscikadan they took the sea, and by the mountain country of Azare. They fought with the pirates, and gained from them such treasures that there was not a man in the fleet who did not wear gold and pall. And by the pillars of Hercules they were encompassed by mermen who sing songs so sweet that mariners will rest slothfully on their oars, and listen to them for days without wearying of their songs to hear--these impeded them much with their wicked crafts, but they escaped them safely. In a peaceful sea, and among the playing fish they came to Dartmouth in Totnes. There the ships bit the sands, and with merry hearts the warriors went ashore. It happened after many days that Brutus and his people were celebrating holy writs, with meat, with drink, and with merry glee sounds: with silver and with gold: with horses and with vestments. Twenty strong giants descended the hills: trees were their clubs: in the centre of their foreheads was a single eye vivid as the blue ice. They hurled huge stones and slew five hundred of the Trojans. But soon the fierce steel arrows of the Trojans whistled through the air, and blood began to spurt from their monstrous sides. They tried to fly; but those darts followed them swift and revengeful, as birds of prey winged with the dark feathers of death. Nineteen were slain and Geog-magog, their leader was brought bound before Brutus, who ordered a wrestling match to be held between the giant and Corineus, a chieftain of his army. A mighty crowd gathered upon the downs by the sea-cliff. Corineus and the giant advanced towards each other, they yoked their arms and stood breast to breast. Their eyes gushed blood, their teeth gnashed like wild boars, their bones cracked. Now their faces were black and swollen, now red and flaming with rage. Geog-magog thrust Corineus off his breast and drawing him back broke three of his ribs with his mighty hand. But Corineus was not overcome, he hugged the giant grimly to his waist, and grasping him by the girdle swung him over the cliff upon the rocks below. Which spot is called "Geog-magog's leap" to this day. And to Corineus, the conqueror, was given a dukedom, which was thence called Corinee and thence Cornwall. Brutus having conquered the giant off-spring of the treacherous sisters, built a New Troy, and erected temples to the great Diana, and caused her to be worshipped throughout the land. Which was named Britain after Brutus, the first man who set foot upon its shores.

Since I haven't mentioned "them" lately, did anyone read the story of the bipedal ape? Is it part of the GMC? It's been awful quiet on the GMC front lately, does that scare everyone else as much as it does me? Are they planning for one huge poo-flinging attack? All this al-qaeda talk is nothing compared to what I fear the GMC will unleash on us. When will Michael Moore do a documentary exposing the cover-up the government is engaged in trying to hide the GMC existance to the average citizen?

Jumped, humped, born to suffer;
made to undress in the wilderness.
-Jim Morrison

badger
-badger

wow, i tell you what, WOW

Why is it that today this looks like the Blog Comments Special Olympics?

I wouldn't be surprised if they just closed up shop for good after seeing the kinds of numb minds they're "servicing".

Swedish Meat balls

I WIN YAYYYY!!!

No You didn't!

Everyman knows that I win, because God has deigned to bless me with a member so long even elephants tend to be surprised. You may have big feet, but I have a big weiner. Sir.

Don't "Sir" me, Sir Loin!

I would not mind doing a bit of reviewing for perversiontracker. I have used almost every shareware and commercial app that is out for the system, some four or five thousand. If you need another monkey on a typewriter you can occasionally have a post or two from me. I am pretty hip to MT as well.