I'm first! I'm first! Nyah, nyah!

That chicken looks like it is about to lay a square egg, or else it is extremely constipated.

Spanish chickens taste best. Not spanish omelets though. Can't stand the things.

I believe that might be an older chicken. And, judging by Jan's frig, it's probably tired of being milked...

There is baloney in my trousers, and it's all you mob's fault! You think a fancy chicken can compensate for such an indignity?

Well, I suppose it can, at that.

mmmm chicken.

It is interesting to note that THAT one has fluffy feet. Anyone who actually owns chooks (viz, me) knows that this is a silly thing to value in a chook, as it leads to their fluffy feet getting caked in poo.

Never a good look.

Larry Flint once said that there wasn't a chicken he didn't…err…like.

Whew, thanks Oziguana. I thought that the "fluffy feet" were webbed and that some strange duck/chicken cross-breeding was going on at the PvT compound. I don't doubt that Piglet Bob has tried some cross-breeding, but it's not really my place to spread unfounded rumors.

I have a big weiner.

Bloody hell. "Hungover" doesn't even begin to describe the depths of my pain.

[Trans: I a friggin' 'tard who shouldn't be allowed within a 2-mile radius of a bottle of alcohol, someone please shoot me.]

*BAANNGG,* ~reloads~

no more dick/weiner/penis/phallus/manhood comments, or else i will shoot you there too. At least get something new. "I have a big Coxis?" "I have a big Pancreas?" "My pituitary gland is huge?"

Any variation would be welcomed.

oh and no probs... if anyone has any chook questions, I own and care for a small flock of them. Go to http://www.treloar.net/garden/index.shtml#chooks to read all about them, and email me with any questions or concerns. "My chook thinks its a duck" "my chook IS a duck, due to wierdo PvT cross breeding." "I am a chook, trapped in a humans body. help." That kind of thing.

That chicken has a big weiner.

And "la Camisera" = "the shirt maker"??? WTF?

Had a chicken what thought it was a duck, due to having been the only chicken egg in an incubator full of duck eggs. You hqaven't seen funny till you've seen a balck polish hen with a white topknot paddling around a kiddie pool with its brown mallard sisters.

I once had a chicken named bob then one day I decided to eat her with corn on the cob. I once had a cock named John and it was really really ummmm.....you know

badger

yeah they are really funny like that... they imprint on the first things they see once they are born, so it would have been one confused chook! and they are so cute with their topknots... LOL ah gotta love your poultry.

I need more attention. Please give at the office so I can receive a donation from the United Way to fund my organ reattachment program.

BTW naomi, when I received my detached wee wee back from your inspection, I found chicken feed all over it and what appears to be beak marks. Can you explain what happened here?

Here is something I have been thinking about, does pus matter? I think a raging infection is much more fun. Antibiotics only serve to fuel the pro-pus view point. I think it is high time we stood up for infectious diseases and gave them the freedom to live even if it cost us our lives. Isn't this what America is about? True freedom comes at a price and the price of freedom in a pus free world is the destruction of our immune systems.

Is anybody listening to me? I really need your empathetic ear (ooooh look, ear wax). Please make me feel good by doing all that I ask with out question. From now on, I will only correspond with naked people. I need you naked because clothes only tend to bind up in my wood chipper.

Lucky for you people, I gotta go take a shit now...

Poor Norm. My abscence and the ensuing level of stupidity that flooded PvT in my wake has driven you to a new level of madness, one that has rendered you no longer self-assured and haughty. Instead you are a broken shell of the person you once were, addicted to your wood chipper and the inane babblings about genitalia and disease that passes for commentary here.

I will do my best to save you from your current state, but odds are I won't. Inquisition is still keeping me away from here. Something about "Psychotic mutated rabbits shooting flames out of their mouths and with claws the size of a small child's head and the smell of witchery and the daemonic and also a hint of lavender about them, rampaging through one of the cities on the planet ....well the name is kinda hard to translate into English.... Two." whatever THAT means.

Which reminds me....keep the wood chipper sharp as I may need it.

Mighty fine chicken there. But tell Jan that when he sneezes, to cover his mouth and nose. I mean for God's sake, use a tissue or SOMETHING.

I was experimenting with portable guillotine and my girlfriend lost her nipples in the process by accident. So I heated up some chocolate sauce and poured it over the clipped nipples knobs and popped them down my throat. Now I have a new career as a nipple harvester.

my girlfriend is outta town and i need a date.

hey all you chickens,here comes the rooster !

cars is funnier than pvt, plus cars is updated m-f.

CARS used to be the funniest, but the Gore story went to Moltzies head.
Now CARS is about as funny as a robot that can play trumpet.
http://www.toyota.co.jp/en/special/robot/
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/3501336.stm

I'm sorry, Norm. Did you say something earlier? I wasn't paying attention.

5 days without an update! I'm going through withdrawal.

I have a big weiner.

once more i say, no, no you don't.

So, you're saying I don't have a big weiner?

cars IS still funny.

i think we are all fools and cars& pvt are the same people.

We are all one. (except long dong)
Embrace that which is Winky. (except the now-hairless areas)

ouch!

nevermind

I'm bored.

I know! Let's invade Tanzania and kill a few of the locals with sharpened papaya slices, and then force them to become democratic! That's always good for a laugh!

What's that you say, Belvedere?

Well, dammit man! How was I to know it was already a multi-party democracy? And since when did the UN have any say in these things?

Harrumph! I'll bet if my surname was Bush they wouldn't be interfering all the time, those ... *mutter, mutter, mutter*

aussie boy bored?! What happened, did your dick fall off?

Oh, Norm O.

One should be careful when one has such a rapier-sharp wit.

One might cut oneself rather badly.

Or one might find oneself with a blunderbuss pointed at one's jubblie-wubblies, loaded with nails and gravel and cactus fruit ...

Belvedere, to the gun cabinet! There's a lesson to be taught, and I have just the pedagogical trigger finger for the job!

Oh me oh my...I am so sorry! I was mistaken! It wasn't your dick that fell off, but it was your balls. I am not surprised you didn't notice since Belvedere replaced them with old grandma's ovaries while you were asleep.

Even after grandma went through menopause, those ovaries are still a more potent replacement than aussie boys balls...

hes been "firing blanks" for some time...

Dear Oziguana,

aussie boy firing blanks? How would you know he was firing blanks? Hmmmm? We would all like to know how you accomplished this task? It seems to me you are trying to have aussie boy's love child to prove a genetically damaged child can actually make it to adulthood and say, "What's wrong with you! Were you fucking (aussie boy's) nuts?!"

Would the children in the front row kindly shut up and sit down? Yes, that means you, Norm and Ozi. Aussie Boy may be bored, but his seems to be the only one whose posting style retains it's unique brand of flair and butler asking.

Now keep quiet and sit down....the assassin I brought in can't get a clear shot at eisner.

Aussie boy, watch it with that blunderbuss!!!!

....

Damnit....now I need a new assassin....stay right there eisner.....

seeing as we are both Australian, and Australia is such a little country - "hey look! they ride kangaroos to school, and the opera house is right next door to Uluru!" i hear all the stupid americans exclaim - i have actually met aussie boy! Yes we tried for a love child, but alas to no avail. THIS is how I know of his disorder, poor poppet that he is.

oh and will you shoot me if i say this everytime i post? "CARS and perversion tracker are written by the same person! Indoubetably my dear chap!"

No....you just aren't heretical enough.....it's that he uses Michael Eisner for his name. God damn I hate that guy....
Also, you are Australian, so you are cool. I've been there, and it's a lovely country with very nice people and air that can actually be inhaled without acquiring cancer.

But for the love of God....why Vegemite? I just don't understand it....

Now where the hell did I stow my bolter....

You guys ride kangaroos to school? I thought that was just a myth. How do you get them to stop for the traffic lights? Kangaroos are colour-blind. But man, some o' them 'roos have extremely large weiners.

Its called a TAIL! can you say that word?? thought not. *sighs* and also, how the POO do you test for colour-blindness in a 'roo? you need to start using you head, and not your... well, your ~head~ (coughs nervously)

Yeah we have nice air.... been to philippines, london, germany, and pollution was pretty shocking. Oh and vegemite is great! you weakling Americans just cant handle the true might of vitamin B rich Yeast Extract! mmmmm. seriously, its not that bad. Just dont eat it if you have any cuts in your mouth... *winces*

and who is Michael Eisner? other that annoying? is this a person of fame?

I am intimately familiar with the word tail. I do have a big weiner, after all. How do you tests for colour-blindness in a 'roo? Easy - they don't stop for the red lights. Sheesh. And they don't stop for the red lights because they are colour-blind. See?

"Why don't they stop for the red lights?"
"Because they are colour blind."

"How do you know they are colour blind?"
"Because they don't stop for the red lights."

"I like traffic lights, I like traffic light, I like traffic lights but only when they're GREEN!"

Eisner is the Disney exec that screwed that company all to hell. They say he has a sick tendancy towards little boys too.

Eisner loves longdongsilver! Eisner loves longdongsilver! Eisner loves longdongsilver!

Now you have someone to share your big weiner with. Laemkral will be jealous.

Can I play with the wood-chipper? I am envisioning certain... possibilities.

And while I may act like a little boy, I'm actually a dirty old man that prefers cows, sheep or snakes to real people. That way there's no commitment, no one you need to call the next day and dinner on the barbecue.

With an attitude like that, it won't be long before you are on the Dr. Phil show and Phil is staring you down saying, "So who is going to take care to all of these genetically freakazoid barn yard animals you fathered?"

Dude, you are one messed up individual to have sex with barn yard animals and not call the next day. Single parent barn yard animals are destroying the fabric of our society. You need to step up and take responsibility for your actions.

Freakazoid, god how I miss that Saturday morning cartoon. Sigh...

Dear PvT Reviewers,
Please find some software that you can skewer with your sharpened-papaya-slice wit.
The badgers have been replaced by zombies.

Badger

Bird sex! I forgot to mention that I like birds too.

http://www.philadelphiaweekly.com/archives/article.asp?ArtID=6999

I thought Normie might be interested. And I thought those were woodchips that the big chicken was standing beside.

Ooh, I like badgers too. They're like super-powered gerbils. Please, for the love of God, someone throw together some crappy RB software so they can put up a new post. Or perhaps this is their twisted little experiment to see how long it takes us to self-destruct.

Actually, now that I think about it, I'll hump pretty much anything that moves. And some things that don't. Ever try to have meaningful relations with a filing cabinet? My advice: lots of lube. And make sure you are grounded.

You may have a big weiner, but I have superior wang

Back to the topic of chickens, I found a nifty new way to cook them: Underground chicken-cooker. Australia seems like a pretty good place to try it out. No one who matters lives there, anyway.

I belive the Van Tols are fond of turducken, a Southern delicacy that is a stuffed chicken stuffed into a duck stuffed into a turkey.
Wanna kill yourself but enjoy doing it? Have a slice of turduken!

And I am not jealous of longdongsilver and Eisner having an affair. I have my bolter to keep me company through those long and lonely nights spent burning heretics by the hundreds, or those miserable cold weeks spent in protracted siege with a traitor cult that has built a fortress, or those drawn out and bleak undetermined time periods spent torturing and burning and scarring some beautiful nymphomanical heretic with the big boobies....mmmm....good old bolter.....your .75 caliber goodness makes me happy.

And I still say that stuff on the ground isn't wood chippings. I believe that Jan sneezed and didn't cover his mouth. Or maybe the chicken has explosive diarrea....

i'm surprised it took so long for someone to realize who i was.
since i don't work for disney anymore (comment deleated)
i just play around mac sites all day.

i wasn't aware i was in an affair with long dong, i do prefer
snow white though.

http://www.mcoffey.com/ptbruiser/unlock.html

MAKE IT STOP!