Woo hoo, first post

To me, it looks like a giant monster's fingernail, but what do I know?

it kind of looks like a blender to me. about to make a dirt ang bug smoothie.

"and" not "ang".

To me, it looks like Jan has been breeding aphid-carrying Asian ladybugs in his basement and is planning to turn them loose on the soybeans of central Wisconsin in the spring.

What a scalawag you are, Jan!

The latest fast-food milkshake topping -
"You want ladybugs with that?"

It's just a vaccuum cannister, people. Move along.

The famous foreskin-eating beetles of the Upper Limpopo basin are known for their rather unendearing habit of crawling into one's bedclothes and attacking one's nether regions as one sleeps.

They can, however, be lured into a canister of grated cheese and disposed of in the campfire.

Under no circumstances, however, should they be re-released, because a foreskin-eating beetle gets rather drunk on the cheese and goes into a feeding frenzy that has resulted in the past in many unplanned and rather bloody circumcisions.

Should you chance upon a frenzied swarm of cheese-drunk foreskin-eating beetles while capering naked along the riverbank of the Upper Limpopo, it is recommended that you shoot yourself immediately rather than suffer the inescapable fate that awaits you.

Belvedere, a jug of M. Baudin's Silk-Strained Claret, if you will. I feel the urge to thicken my tongue and coat my teeth in fur.

I have a big wiener.

nature abhors a vacuum.

As someone who resides next to the aforementioned soybean fields in south-central Wisconsin (at least every three years. Crop rotation you know), I can attest that those are indeed the Japanese invaders and that they A) Are everywhere even in the winter you find them all over the house. B) Die in the most annoying places (i.e.shoes, socks, bread drawers etc.) C) Produce an amazing foul stink when disturbed or dead. and D) Actually bite like hell!
During there breeding season we find its easiest just to vacuum the ceiling to get rid of them from inside the house and the chicken coop.

What we have here is a gen-u-ine Weapon of Mass Destruction! What happened to that weasel Kay? Get him over here to look at this. That's what Saddam did - all of them bombs was disguised as vack-a-ume cleaners. That crafty little jerk. I intend to appoint a blue-ribbon panel to prove that I am not an idiot after all. I bet it was them Dem-o-crats that put him up to this. Cheney! Shut off that damn hockey game (tain't amurrican anywhays) and get on the phone to that Russky, what's-his-name. I'd do it but I got a bail Jenna out of the pokey agin.

You're a dumbass.

Does any one know if that guy is a bad ass?

Um, what in the name of the Great Good Gracious was all that about?

Do we know these people?