February 03, 2004

RadicalSqueeze 1.0

radsqueeze.jpg

Don’t make me get out my belt (you know, to compress files). Want to email some files to a friend? Looking to backup your important files? Or maybe you need to upload some files to a server and you need to make the transfer go a little (or a lot) quicker. There are many reasons you may need to compress your files. And RadicalSqueeze is an incredibly simple way to do it!

There was a developer in Everett
Who wanted his software to be a hit,
But he charged $15 bucks
For an app that just sucks,
And nobody else really gave a shit.

Radical Breeze, your flirtatious nom-de-merde leaves us wondering loudly whether you are a software company or, as seems more likely, a maker of fruity malt beverages favored by underaged girls in trashy outfits who will inevitably vomit copious amounts of a chunky technicolor liquid that we’d rather not examine too closely and pass out in the shrubbery.

But we have a job to do here, people, and so we must — briefly but regrettably — tear ourselves away from the first international George W. Bush lookalike naked-polka contest to bestow this carcinogenic Biggie-sized 9.5. Work it, baby, work it, oh yeah!

Download RadicalSqueeze

Posted by naomi at February 3, 2004 07:30 PM | TrackBack
Comments

No mention of the fact this app was "made" with R***Basic? Methinks ye are slipping...

Posted by: johannis johannson on February 3, 2004 06:43 PM

more like "ejaculated forth from the bowels of R***Basic"

Posted by: Nick on February 3, 2004 07:50 PM

Great archive utility. $15.00, what a bargain!

Oh, wait...

1) Create new folder
2) Drop what you want in the folder
3) Control Click on folder, choose "Create Archive"
- or -
Launch Terminal.app:
tar -cf name_of_archive.tar /path/to/folder/to/compress

for free, with the same results. This "app" just creates .tar files, not some new, more efficient compression method.

But I'm preaching to the choir I suppose.

Posted by: johnnycat on February 3, 2004 09:27 PM

PT has a lass named Naomi,
whose software reviews really "whoa" me.
Though her limericks aren't tight,
and the rhythms aren't right,
her sarcasm is tasty and foamy.

Posted by: The Valrus on February 4, 2004 06:12 AM

Did you Tivo the first international George W. Bush lookalike naked-polka contest?
I would really like to see that.
I think GWB is cute.

Posted by: A.Y.B.A.B.T.U. on February 4, 2004 06:36 AM

Oooh, oooh, limerick contest!

There once was a Valrus who felt
That my rhymes are slack and unsvelte
And what can I do?
It's sad, but it's true --
Just don't make me get out my belt.

Posted by: naomi on February 4, 2004 06:59 AM

Naomi and Valrus are bickering
Their limericks sicker and sickering
While RadicalSqueeze
Makes anuses sneeze
And Norm is out back doing his "chicken thing"

OK, it sucks, but I had to try, anyway.

Posted by: Uncertain Future on February 4, 2004 07:09 AM

Oh, do not accuse me of slipping
Because my review wasn't gripping
It's just that R***Basic
Won't fit in a limerick
If you think it does, man, you're tripping

Posted by: naomi on February 4, 2004 08:04 AM

R*** Basic really, really sucks
and is only used by worthless f*cks.
It's code is trash;
it's apps often crash.
I just can't wait for Real B**** Deluxe!

Posted by: A.Y.B.A.B.T.U. on February 4, 2004 08:33 AM

To publish an app that is bad,
R***Basic must surely be had.
And so when we see you
We'll be quite inclined to
Kick you real hard in the 'nads!

Posted by: Uncertain Future on February 4, 2004 09:23 AM

To make a poem for PvT,
It is quite important, you see,
To make sure you rhyme,
(To appease all the slime)
And to use Mac OS 10.3.

Posted by: kjones on February 4, 2004 11:44 AM

If you type tar -cf foo.tar
Your files compressed, they not are
To add some compression
You'll need this expression:
tar -cf - | gzip > harhar

(or just tar -czf, but whatever)

Posted by: Yeah on February 4, 2004 02:31 PM

I NEGLECTED TO MENTION PENIS THIS WEEK.
PENIS.

Posted by: RICHARD RODGERS on February 4, 2004 02:45 PM

Valrus, you've got some valls complaining about rhythm after using the line "her sarcasm is tasty and foamy."

(Unless you're one who emphasizes the second syllable when saying "sarcasm", in which case you need more professional help than an online feedback form can offer.)

Posted by: Rob on February 4, 2004 03:16 PM

You'd better believe I've got some valls.

Posted by: The Valrus on February 4, 2004 04:47 PM

Tippo Sahib was so fond of los pollos
That many back then found it real gross
A hen saw him Zip it
And decided to Stuffit
Then pecked him real hard in los huevos

Posted by: Leibnitz, N. on February 4, 2004 05:45 PM

It should be noted that we have now gone 4 hours without saying "penis".

Posted by: no body on February 4, 2004 06:57 PM

A statistical anomaly.

We've also gone 100 years without being hit by a piece of space matter massing more than 100000 tonnes. We're due.

Posted by: Leibnitz, N. on February 4, 2004 07:24 PM

what is a tonnes?

or rather:

Leibnitz, N uses words
That smell like turds
I don't understand him
I think it's a him
now, where is my whey and curds?


worst. limerick. ever.

Posted by: Nick on February 5, 2004 05:01 PM

There once was a poster named Nick,
Whose limericks made PvTers sick.
His rhymes were so bad
it forced our friend Ladd
to poke him in the eye with a stick.

Posted by: A.Y.B.A.B.T.U. on February 6, 2004 03:42 PM

*Ow* Goddammit, Ladd!

Posted by: Nick on February 6, 2004 04:08 PM

How about science limericks? I'm better at those.

A Biology prof name of Caster
Had a project she knew would outlast her,
For it was most complex,
Aimed at changing the sex
Of drosophila melanogaster.

Posted by: Nick on February 7, 2004 02:24 AM

A rather large chappie from Tonga
Said, "It's sad and its bad and it's wronger
That a chap such as Nick,
Who is clearly well sick,
Should be such a dead dingo's donger."

Posted by: aussie boy on February 8, 2004 03:15 AM

There once was a lad, name of Aussie
When drinking, became rather bossy.
Normally quite prim,
Now, acts on a whim
Said: "That Naomi is really quite saucy."

Posted by: Nick on February 8, 2004 11:54 AM

I didn't really understand the rhyming structure of limericks before, but now I do, so I redid the one about Leibnitz. I think it's a little better.

Leibnitz, N uses very starnge words
They reek and writhe, aroma of turds
His language is quaint
it came from his taint
it divides my IQ into thirds.

Posted by: Nick on February 8, 2004 12:04 PM

It's true, some folks say that I'm saucy,
while others prefer the word bossy.
But you can't pigeonhole me --
I'm way out of control, whee!
And nearly as crazy as aussie.

Posted by: naomi on February 8, 2004 01:21 PM

You might go to ponds to get ducked,
Or casinos to find yourself lucked,
But hang round this joint
And you'll soon get the point:
You'll be bent over backwards and slapped.

Fwahahahahahahahahaha! Fwahahahaha ... uuuuurgh!

Don't you hate it when last night's oysters come sliding up again?

Posted by: aussie boy on February 8, 2004 03:16 PM

yeah, especially if you were drinking tequila with them. ugh.

Posted by: Nick on February 9, 2004 10:00 PM

Ah, Nick, ever reliable in this ceaseless and uncivil phlegm-slinging contest! Well done again, old pork-muncher!

Posted by: aussie boy on February 10, 2004 03:39 AM

I do what I can. If i'm not going to be vile and repulsive on my own behalf, then who will be, old baloney, who will be?

Posted by: Nick on February 10, 2004 07:12 AM
Post a comment