War is not healthy for fancy chickens and other living things.
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Oh, Script Software, how could you? The unfunny American Revolution joke was awful enough, but then you totally redlined the dork-o-meter by explaining it. People like you just don’t deserve our love.
By the time we saw the dim flickering light at the end of your airless tunnel of watermarking misery, we could have created a vast self-reproducing tribe of monkey-duck hybrids using nothing more than the power of positive thinking.
Or, in an even shorter time, we could have used an illicit copy of Photoshop to watermark our entire collection of early 16th-century pornographia with a unique and delightfully drawn insignia that would remind you — obliquely but inescapably — of a lust-glazed platypus copulating with a rather skittish okapi.
At a whopping $20 (or the price of a virgin lamb in New South Wales), we find it hard to believe that anyone would intentionally purchase this derivative remnant of a bad idea. Script Software, perhaps you should pay homage to the spirit of ‘76 in your frantic bid for notoriety by heaving a few overtaxed bales of pekoe chai into the nearest harbor. May this ragged 9.8 flutter bravely o’er the glory fields as you march to meet your doom!
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Posted by naomi at January 5, 2004 07:42 PM | TrackBackThe imagery of this review was enough that I was forced to make a picture. I am quite proud of my handiwork which can be found here.
Finding an okapi and a platipus in the same position was difficult, once achieved however the final result was easy to achieve.
I was sure it would take longer for the year to turn up something this horrible. A free moderately irrelevant curiosity can become, for only $20 a fettering pile.
Posted by: adaeon on January 5, 2004 10:08 PMI'm quite partial to Billy Mays. I find it rather polite that he always announces his presence before he posts.
Aussie, old sprout, did you find your pencil? I have a right lovely one you may have if you don't mind paying the shipping from Kansas. It's the dog's bollocks. (I'm told that is good whereas bollocks, by itself, is bad. Being that I'm not a Brit I am wholly unfamiliar with the colloquialisms.)
KABOOM!!
Posted by: Nick on January 5, 2004 10:46 PMEw, stripey dialog..
Buy Panther, you blasphemous pauper wench.
I didn't know there were any virgin lambs left in New South Wales, what with Aussie-boy and all them lust-glazed platypi copulating with everything. Sends my dork-o-meter off scale just to think about it!
Posted by: Uncertain Future on January 6, 2004 11:54 AMa) Poultry poacher: It's spelt "platypus".
b) Nick: Thanks ever so much, old sprout. The cheque is in the mail. (The Czech is in the male, however, is an inexplicable statement that I never wish to see uttered in public.)
c) Uncertain Future: English, the old darling, evolves, and the -i ending for plurals is slowly (and thankfully) dying a gracious death. So it's perfectly all right for you to write "platypuses". Also, I don't copulate with just "everything". Anything will do.
d) Naomi (or if I might use your Native American appellation, Squats Behind Trees): $20 will not buy you a virgin lamb in New South Wales. You'd be looking at $80 to $100 at minimum, and that's without the Form 040107c (NSW Government Virgin (Lamb) Authentication Certificate). A little fact-checking wouldn't go astray. I had thought better of you, frankly.
e) My wife just fed me hot food and now my tongue hurts.
Posted by: aussie boy on January 6, 2004 06:05 PM"BAAAAAAAH! "Pass the syringe", says Rene Rivkin, 'any excuse will do!".
Posted by: Mr.Clicky on January 7, 2004 04:55 AMthis is great... A program that makes watermarks! Any computer with a paint program featuring text could do this...
Posted by: beanland on January 7, 2004 03:36 PMBilly Mays Here:
I dont suck-but stains sure do!
Its time to try OXYclean!
Kaboom
Posted by: Billy Mays on January 7, 2004 05:03 PMThanks for that insightful comment! It makes interesting reading, especially when I need a payday loans.
Posted by: payday loans on November 25, 2004 01:23 PM