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A child was born on a winter’s night —
His cord was long, his mood was bright;
He cleared the womb with room to spare,
His face was red, his ass was bare.
His older siblings beamed with pride
To see his brown eyes open wide.
He was brand-new, we were glad:
We hugged him tight and named him Ladd.
Hey Ladd, shave already you lazy bastard!
Ahem. First post.
Posted by: fuddes on December 10, 2003 09:51 PMmy god, it's so lifelike...
Posted by: NieA on December 10, 2003 11:14 PMWell, Ladd ain't that badd. I'm just sadd cos' he looks so madd, tho' he's prolly acting just a tadd. I'm gladd his existence ain't no fadd, insteadd he seems pretty radd and now I ain't got no more sentences to add.
Laddy B-day!
Posted by: Thuros M. on December 11, 2003 02:56 AMMany happy returns for the day, old bean.
The photograph encapsulates so many ... err, um, things, and the poem is bloody nigh perfect.
Only quibble with it, in fact, is the phrase "his ass was bare". Down here in Australia (where it's no longer your birthday, thanks to the bloody International Date Line), that means "your donkey has no saddle".
Oh well! Enjoy the cake.
Belvedere, get away from the vulture at once! He hasn't had his breakfast yet!
What's that? Well frankly, old cock, I don't care where you find one! isn't there a new parking attendant at the Hilton? I'm sure he'd be tasty ...
Posted by: aussie boy on December 11, 2003 06:51 AMLadies and gentlemen, let us move on to our next case. This patient, I believe his name is ladd, is suffering from acute advanced fecal compaction syndrome. Notice the facial expressions and the signs of mental instability. Constipation like this is rare, but treatable. Notice the IV drip we have installed that is pumping australian beer directly into circulatory system. Actually we had to supplement the IV by rerouting his catheter output directly back into the IV bag.
His prognosis is not good and we expect his head to explode with shit within the next 24 hours. We remain hopeful he will make a recovery with the toilet paper treatments we have been giving him.
Posted by: Norm O. Tidwell on December 11, 2003 12:39 PMI hope somebody bought him teeth whitening gunk for his birthday
Posted by: Crest Whitestrip on December 11, 2003 03:24 PMHas anyone else noticed how badly IE 4.5 renders pictures when your screen depth is set to 256 colours?
Oh. I see.
He really does look like that.
Posted by: El Capitano Corelli on December 11, 2003 03:39 PM... Captain Jack Sparrow … yeah … who's probably a cross between Keith Richards and Pepe LePew.
(Johnny Depp in an interview with Jay Leno)
Important Comment Space Waster Pro™ Announcement:
Comment Space Waster Pro™ 2.0 is no longer in beta.
Comment Space Waster Pro™ 2.0 has the following new features:
- Writes a random or previously used name in the Name field (Not "Comment Space Waster Pro™" as in earlier versions)
- Improved About dialog box, now with scrolling credits.
- Automatic Update function that doesn't work correctly until version 2.1 which you have to download manually when it becomes available
Download Comment Space Waster Pro™ 2.0:
http://www.commentspacewasterpro.com/download/
A free Lite version is also available:
http://www.commentspacewasterpro.com/lite/download/
Best regards,
The Comment Space Waster Pro™ Developer Team
or as Ladd likes to call it Christmas in December. Wait. Isn't there already, like, one of those? Damn. My point here is, that my birthday is in July and I call it Christmas in July. You should change your birth month, ladd, so it doesn't sound stupid when you say The, uh, Other Christmas in July. Get on that.
Posted by: Nick on December 13, 2003 03:30 PM