WorshipLeader 3.8

For a whopping £20 (or one medium-sized heathen soul) shareware fee, you’d think this festering heap of sanctimonious stinkbait would brim to its bubbling eyeballs with fun. You’d think it would even bestow such heady luxuries as, oh, maybe a “quit” option. But you would think wrong. And you won’t be able to turn your unrepentant back on the Lord THIS time, no sir — not until the WorshipLeader says it’s time to leave. Come the rapture, this app will still be running!

Kudos to Colin Owen for soldiering on valiantly in his earnest private delusion that what this sorry, mixed-up world really needs is another overpriced app with a dizzying array of badly labeled and mostly meaningless options. Yes, an application that brings order and a fresh sense of purpose to a faltering “church worship team” by centering the group’s attention on a single common goal: to seek out the man who created this lurching teratoma and coat him liberally with crusty caper-studded goat cheese. We are forced to bestow this holy-rolling 11.0 in grudging recognition of a job well done.

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