Pookie and Tushka’s Ice Toss Frenzy 1.0

If you aren’t afraid of scary monsters and want to help an adorable penguin and bear build their ice house, this could be your game. You depraved sicko.

Pookie (the penguin), and Tushka (the bear) are too little and need your help. And boy do they need your help, what with all the marauding columns of flame, sinister flying pianos, and vicious shark attacks plaguing their endeavor.

Conceived as a promotional item for a book titled “Pookie and Tushka Find a Little Piano,” PATITF is as cute as a button. A horrible talking button that burns worse than that time you spilled a fresh batch of disgustipating chocolate tapioca on your new white pants.

Yet PATITF has some virtues. For one, it teaches politeness. When Tushka is attacked by a scary monster, how does he respond? In only two ways, as this handy table reveals:

Even after six hours of attempting to elicit even the tamest of swearing from Tushka, he steadfastly insisted on his two oh-so-polite responses. Stupid #$*#^* bear. Greasy @*$$)% penguin. We’ve met active yogurt cultures more entertaining than this syrupy polar pair.

Pers, please accept a squeakily spoken 8.9 for your cutely disturbing “game.” We’re not buying your book either.

Download Pookie and Tuska’s Ice Toss Frenzy