War is not healthy for fancy chickens and other living things.
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Semantica SE (Standard Edition) is our flagship knowledge capture, management and transfer product. By combining the proven effectiveness of semantic networking with the best practices of knowledge management, Semantica SE allows expert knowledge producers and consumers alike to access, learn and benefit from highly interconnected and easily understood contextual knowledge structures. Semantica SE is an easy to use product with a sleek user-friendly interface that supports enhanced workflow through rapid entry lists and a complete drag-and-drop authoring environment.
Speaking as expert knowledge producers, we were eager to benefit from highly interconnected and easily understood contextual knowledge structures. As such, we started the mere slurp of a 13.2 MB download with bated breath, eagerly awaiting the best practices of knowledge management that glistened within, much like the Bactrian Horde, or Naomi’s sharpened incisors.
After an arduous InstallAnywhere experience, we hastily keyed in our evaluation license key (VEKL-XQIB-FULJ-JXJU-DBEB-RVJZ), and went to work. Immediately we were struck by the utter lack of semen in this application, but once we had calmed down and remembered that semantics only occasionally make any contact with semen whatsoever, we continued building wack knowledge structures all up in your grill.
From the simulated OpenSTEP rainbow cursor, to the ugly borders of Java UI, Semantica SE constantly displeased us. Concepts and knowledge relations frequently leapt across the screen with startling alacrity, leaving us quivering with detestation at this abhorrent misapplication of graph theory. We have yet to find a way to re-center the knowledge graph on a particular concept, and it did not teach us how to effectively floss a chinchilla. We did however learn that the concept “black ram tupping white ewe” is connected to “sexual innuendoes” through the “example of” relation. It’s all there in Shakespeare’s plays, you just have to wait for the knowledge to “flow out of the author(s) and into multiple dimensions.” Yeah. Semantica SE is the extra party starter, number one hard zipper parter.
But really, you feel for these people. They are probably bigwigs in their field, and felt they had to burden the rest of us with a mishmash of semantic structure theory. As if that weren’t enough, they then decided to charge us $499.99 (5,884.88 Maldivian Rufiyaa) for the privilege of wading through this ovulating squirrel hole.
Semantic Research, please explore the semantic knowledge implications of your newly minted 9.8 rating, and learn a thing or three from OmniGraffle while you’re at it.
Posted by ladd at November 20, 2003 02:18 AM | TrackBackTinderbox...
Review TinderBox.. It is ass-incarnate...
You know you want to...
Oh, and ehm, Frost Spit!
I wish someone would build wack knowledge structures all up in my grill. sigh.
Posted by: previously inane on November 20, 2003 03:14 AMWhere on earth could one use the phrase, "ovulating squirrel hole"?
Let's see...
"Battle stations! Man the ovulating squirrel holes!"
"Ovulating squirrel holes? Ovulating squirrel holes? We don't need no stinking ovulating squirrel holes."
"Patient: Doctor, what's wrong with me?
Doctor: I'm afraid you has ovulating squirrel hole syndrome. We have to use a condom."
"Look! Doesn't Laemkral remind you of an ovulating squirrel hole!"
Posted by: Norm O. Tidwell on November 20, 2003 11:19 AMYou forgot
"Shut your ovulating squirrel hole!"
"Of all the ovulating squirrel holes in all the world, she had to walk into mine."
"Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful ovulating squirrel hole."
Posted by: Chip on November 20, 2003 11:26 AMI'll build wack knowledge structures all up in your ovulating squirrel hole! Word.
Posted by: Mickey Knox on November 20, 2003 12:50 PMI don't know about you, but I would gladly pay $499.99 for the privilege of wading through an ovulating squirrel hole.
I'd pay twice that! Hubba hubba!
Posted by: Uncertain Future on November 20, 2003 12:57 PMCut it out folks, you're getting me excited with all this "ovulating squirrel hole" stuff.
Great, now I can't stand up without embarrassment until I think of something else.
HOMER
Mmmmmm, ovulating squirrel holes ...
/HOMER
That makes me think ... (not really, but I had to start this off somehow)
Anyone remember the movie "This is Spinal Tap"? Nigel wrote a classical piano piece with flowing medleys and melodic chords, which he called "Lick My Love Pump". What about a song entitled "Lick My Ovulating Squirrel Hole"?
Damn, some day's I'm just sick ...
Posted by: Walking Contradiction on November 20, 2003 01:47 PMHmm... now you've got ME thinking (I was wondering why I had such a headache)...
"black ram tupping white ewe"
Is that how Tupperware got its name? Or is it some subtle racial thing I'm too ignorant to catch?
Posted by: Uncertain Future on November 20, 2003 01:59 PMthe secret origins of tupperware lie within subtle race relations. "tupperware" is actually an anagram for "The Uppity People Piss Even Rowdier When Attacking Rendered Elephants." Actually, that has nothing to do with race.
on another note, there's another great insult... "Lick my ovulating squirrel hole!"
Posted by: kjones on November 20, 2003 03:14 PMCATS: ALL YOUR OVULATING SQUIRREL HOLE ARE BELONG TO US. YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME. HA HA HA HA...
Posted by: The Valrus on November 20, 2003 04:00 PMI think ladd has now invented a whole category of phraseologies. For example, "ejaculating weasel orifice" is now a proper permutation that is now politically correct to use in mixed company. Yet, I have to wonder how he even came up with "ovulating squirrel hole" in the first place. I think he was intently staining the centerfold picture in PlaySquirrel where Ranger Rick is doing Sally Squirrels while tied up with leather straps to a pine tree. ladd, I think Laemkral will lend you his box of kleenex if you need it.
Posted by: Norm O. Tidwell on November 20, 2003 04:43 PMinsert random musing here.
Posted by: Nick on November 20, 2003 05:49 PMNorm:
"I think he was intently staining the centerfold picture in PlaySquirrel where Ranger Rick is doing Sally Squirrels while tied up with leather straps to a pine tree."
Dude, you definitely have issues. ;-)
(I'm still giggling about that one. I also have issues.)
Posted by: Walking Contradiction on November 20, 2003 07:03 PMWhen does fancy something day start?
Posted by: Winky 3000 on November 21, 2003 03:54 PMI was just wondering the same thing Winky. I mean it's Friday and my feathers are all ruffled up!
I need chicken porn!
Since it seems like I've been denied, I guess I'll have to go back to work. On a Friday even!
There is no justice in the world ...
Posted by: Walking Contradiction on November 21, 2003 05:47 PM