Oh, no, get out of the way, Fancy Chicken!

My triops have hatched.

Don't you guys love a freeze action photo of a chicken being run over by a speeding Saab. Feathers flying and guts a popping. Oooooohh the anticipation is better than sex with a crusted sharp turd. I wonder if naomi is driving the car naked? Perhaps we can get laemkral to put on a chicken suit and go play on the interstate. Wouldn't you like to be a cigar smoking drunken 18 wheel trucker hurdling towards laemkral. Honk that horn for the inquisition!

Look at Katarina strut her stuff! A fancy chicken like that could stop traffic anywhere!

Hey, I made it for Fancy Chicken Friday! Cool! And such a sexy chicken it is ...

I should caution all that I'm suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder this morning. I just can't keep my mind on anything for very long. Maybe that breakfast screwdriver is at fault, I really shouldn't be drinking orange juice that early in the morning ...

About that Saab, you know what they say about Saab owners. Every Saab owner has his (or her) own Saab story.

Who decided to spell it that way anyway? It looks weird, especially when you put a number of them together. You don't think those 4 are planning anything, do you?

Maybe I'm getting paraniod, but fortunately I don't remember why ...

What the hell is a "metal attitude"? Oh well, this Nicecast app they've got looks even cooler than a sexy strutting chicken.

THANK GOD IT'S FANCY CHICKEN FRIDAY!!!

Umm... yeah... What was I doing?

I can't stand cliffhangers! Aaaa!

Ok, you are all about to be really happy. The hiatus will apparently be taking longer (read several months at the bare minimum) due to my limited cash flow and large amount of even more important stuff. Really, its amazing how low you guys rank on my importance scale....so low that I came to this realization several days ago but had so much more important stuff to do.
I hope you guys feel honored, I actually am taking the time away from my important stuff (not the original one, something else) to actually give you an update on the hiatus. Expect no more updates for a long time, so if you MUST know the status of my projects, email me. That makes you more imporant in my eyes. And my schedule.
That's a nice Fancy Chicken picture. And that's a nice car. Wish I had it, so I could sell it.

Hey Lamelark, this isn't your own personal blog, we don't give a sharpened turd about your cash flow or your hiatus or the status of your projects. We're only here for the FANCY CHICKENS! Oh yeah, and witty putdowns of crappy software.

OK, I know I have been slacking and I really haven't insulted Laemkral for a while, but perhaps today I can make up for it.

When I read Robo's comment that "Lamelark" (interesting juxtaposition of the letters) uses this sight as his own personal blog, I had to think to myself, "Holy shit Batrman, he stuck his cock (fancy chicken kind of cock you perverts) in the electrical socket!!!" That description is so right on the target. Laemkral has his head stuck so far up his ass that he can see his own tonsils and confused them for his testicles (think about it). Laemkral tries to be a part this sick demented group, but he fails to even scratch the surface of his poop hole when he is doing a taste test. He is not willing to dig deep to get the really good shit that we all want, and we all know you all like shit or you wouldn't have read this far. Hmmm...I see plenty of red faces out there! Half of you are finally admitting publicly you like the taste of shit and the other half of you are realizing that you are tasting shit and you didn't know it. The one thing you need to realize about Laemkral is that he is a (and I mean this in the nicest way possible) limp dick confusing a knot on a tree for a...well you get the picture. In spite of that lovely image of Laemkral fertilizing maple trees in the spring time, it is a fact that we need him in some wholly sick and utterly disgusting gag me with Vick's Vapo Rub way. Without Laemkral, who would we pick on? Last time I picked on naomi, I was banned for a short period of time. Ahh, thank God for DCHP and my highly paid lawyer.

So three cheers for Laemkral who is still trying to master the art of wiping his ass with a chain saw. Laemkral once taught me to always pick your nose first and then your ass and to never in the reverse order. Did I mention I learn by example and when I saw Laemkral do that, I thought to myself, "stuffing shit up your nose ain't such a bright idea." BTW, what kind of lame ass name is Laemkral to use on this web site? I think a better nick name for you Laemkral would be "Woody Whacker." It has the distinction of grace yet conveys the image your palm is full of splitters, if you know what I mean.

For all of you folks out there, here are a few facts about Laemkral.

Top ten facts about Laemkral.

10. The inquisition gang banged him and that is the real reason he quit the inquisition.

9. In his mother's womb, Laemkral used to get off by squeezing his umbilical cord shut to cause auto-erotic asphyxiation. At first, the doctors misdiagnosed it as brain damage.

8. He thinks shoving carrots up his ass will improve his eye sight and give him a "third" eye you know where.

7. When making love, Laemkral prefers using a blender instead of toaster. Something about making bloody Marys when it is all over. Did I mention his girlfriend's name is Mary?

6. When taking a dump in bed, Laemkral likes to do it laying on his stomach.

5. Laemkral uses bendable straws to suck his own man boobies.

4. To get an erection, Laemkral scares the shit out of himself which temporally causes a massive blood flow to his wedding night fishing tackle which he then promptly dips in liquid nitrogen to freeze it rock solid. Laemkral may not be the longest flag pole in the stadium, but with a frozen dick on a stick, he is good to go for 6 hours.

3. When Laemkral says he is on hiatus, it really means he ate a whole brick of valvetta cheese last night and he is having a we bit of trouble passing it.

2. Laemkral hates sex and so does every inanimate object that has had sex with him.

1. Trust me, you don't want to know the number one fact about Laemkral. In fact, I have erased it from my mind, so don't ask me.

Pssst....The length of this "blog" is a subtle ironic reference to the lengths of Laemkral's posts. Look at the wealth of material Laemkral has inspired in me. I thank you Laemkral!

Pssst...pssst...just in case Laemkral reads this post, this diatribe to your insipid non-sensical vomit you call thought is actually very high praise from me. I don't expect much out of you and you never disappoint me!!! Keep up the...OK, put away that putrified meat popsicle, you're grossing everyone out and shave the mold and gangrene off of it.

there's nothing subtle about it, Normy.