Daz The Dingo 1.0

Baz, the baby dingo, has been stolen by the evil humans to become an exhibit in the Zoo Of Cartoon Animals. It is up to Daz, our hero, to make his way from the Australian Outback to Sydney, where he can release little Baz.

Like a show pony at the roller derby, this application can’t quite seem to get its act together. Its bloated size is likely the result of chugging too much beer. This flaw is partly redeemed by the fact that it’s free (or two warm stubbies and a quick snog in Australia).

We must admit that our screen shot fails to do justice to the scenic panorama that is DTD. The action shot came out poorly and the hour was growing late and upon quitting the game we found that everything on our desktop had been messily rearranged and then we were scared to start the game again and we cried and cried and cried. And the big kids laughed, so we kicked them in the nads and ran like the wind.

How to explain away this objectionable cartoon animation? It could be charitably described as “childlike,” but the way we will describe it is “vomitorious.” It’s exactly like being pelted with infinitesimally tiny bits of goat cheese — you know that something, somewhere, has gone horribly wrong, but you can’t quite put your finger on it.

DTD boasts a dingo-studded cast that includes Daz the Dingo, Baz the Dingo, and (surprise!) Shaz the Dingo. It’s entirely possible that DTD is the zaniest thing to come out of Australia since Mel Gibson. No, we take that back. Nothing can compare to Mel — he’s madder than a cut snake in heat, and twice as confused. The only thing Mel has in common with DTD is this phrase: “lethal ball of fur.” And that could be the start of a beautiful journey.

Matt Gray, you have created the bleeding last word in dingo-infested software. At least, we hope so. You may use this prickly 9.7 to repel the rolling echidnas that seem to pose such a hazard in your vicinity — perhaps because everything in Australia is downhill? Oh, and do try to stay out of the midday sun.

Download Daz The Dingo