Is this how you plan to ween us off of Fancy Chicken Friday? Have you no shame? I was EATING, for God's sake!

Also, wouldn't "Shark Attack Saturday" be better suited to continue the alliterative tradition?

Given the nature of the Friday postings of the past several weeks, I would have expected this to be more like Fancy Seal Friday, or perhaps Fancy Appetizer Friday.

That doesn't look like a shark bite. If you'll notice, the skin has simply been peeled off and the layer of blubber removed, revealing the intact flesh beneath. If anything, I'd have to say this was the work of a human or a very psychotic GMC operative. And that's disturbing. Our species sucks such ass sometimes.

In fact......there are so many things I just want to say right now, that I'm juts not gonna even bother. Ladd, I thought you'd have had a SLIGHTLY better sense of humor than this. I mean for God's sake, its a seal that's been sliced up! There is NO humor in that. NONE. I can't even begin to find any in the darkest depths of my mind, and I have a pretty dark subconscious.
Don't ever do this again, it's just wrong.
Sorry I didn't put this in my previous post, but I just had to say this.

This picture just makes me want to cry, it's honestly that depressing in my opinion.

I was gonna say something but, uh, nevermind.

It looks like it's been unsealed.

I agree, this is a bit too much.

Dear ladd,

Everybody in this forum KNOWS how sick I am as a person and I need no persuasion to say or do something stupid or really sick. Remember I am saying this as someone who is far past any hope of counseling, but you ladd make me look like a saint. This is really sick! You are are one wicked bastard by any measure. But you know,...it is kind of refreshing to see someone out do me once and a while....hmmmmm...it gives me something to work for. I want you to know and fully realize that it is NORM who is about to make the following comment, so take this in the nicest way possible, "You are one fucking sick bastard!" Kudos!

If I were to take your little example on step further, can you imagine me having sex with that mangled seal? Having sex with animals has its appeal, but having sex with dead animals is kind of kinky. Dead animal orgy...hmmmmmm.

Or how about calling this picture "Wood Chipper Seal Friday"?

P.S. Ignore Laemkral's comments, he is just jealous he didn't think of it first.

Oh this is just too funny.

"This picture just makes me want to cry"..."You are one sick fucking bastard"...

It's called nature, you poor soft hearted fuckers. Things die. Even cute fluffy things.

Gotta laugh at Laemkral, lord of the Inquisition and wearer of robotic battle armour, weeping over a dead seal though. And as for N.O.T. screwing one... well that makes my week!

I was hoping you had left... oh well...

You were hoping I'd left, Nick? I have now.

I promise only to post misanthropic comments when Laemkral posts references to the Inquisition.

With any luck, I'll be pretty quiet then :)

[dangly bits snipped]

And what happened to that seal was not nature. That was a merciless killing of an innocent followed by the perversion of the corpse as done by the flaying of the skin and removal of blubber beneath.
Any idiot (well, almost any idiot in your case_ can tell those edges are too clean to be a shark bite, and that the "bite" area is too shallow and is curved in the wrong direction. Maybe you've never seen a shark's teeth, but they are arranged in a similar manner to ours so that when you bite in, the curve is into the object, not away from it.
I weep for the disgusting perversions that exist in our species, and I mourn for our own society's death at their hands.
And THAT ladies and gentlemen is why I am a poopyhead who inexplicably cannot refrain from talking about a certain imaginary group that I have been TOLD and TOLD and TOLD NOT TO TALK ABOUT.
Death to the heretic.
"A moment of laxity spawns a lifetime of heresy."

And I...sob...weep...sob...for the little blighter too.

Not only is it dead, but it was the innocent victim of a diabolical conspiracy, involving murder, a very small fur coat, and a cruel attempt to make the dastardly crime look like a shark kill.

How devious the evil bastard must have been who did this!

Gadzooks, Batman...sounds like a job for that power-armoured avenger and internationally renowned expert in forensic analysis of shark-bite fakery, Laemkral. To the bat-phone!

This is the first time I've ever visited this site; hell of a first impression. I'm curious to know why you chose to post this.

FWIW, that fatal injury appears to be damage from a propeller of some sort. If this were the result of a pointless person, there'd be lots of blood on the seal, and at least some on the sand. I think this seal died out in the water where it bled out and then washed ashore.

You are both wrong; it was killed with a herring!

It's not dead, it's just resting. It's probably pining for the fjords.

Oh My!

And that, friends, is how to deftly take a discussion about dead cute animals and turn it into a Monty Python revival!
I myself am pining for the fjords, just like the parrot and the dead and partly masticated seal.
Those of you who are paying attention will note that I said "masticated" without even cracking a smile or taking one hand off the keyboard.

That's sick. You've just lost a reader.

We need a good joke to liven the discussion.

So this baby seal walks into a club...

This was done by a POLAR BEAR. Yep, good ol' cuddly Ursus arctos maritimus. They bite, then rip away the skin — and eat the blubber beneath. I've seen these victims up close and personal, and I've seen dozens of journal articles on the subject.

This was not done by a propellor, nor a shark. Propellors slice parallel grooves into the victim — not simply decorticate them. Sharks eat the proteins, not merely the fats.

It's gruesome, and I understand why many are upset. I also agree with the remarks about the general evil of the human race.

But it's old "Seagoing Bear" (I do love their Latin name), swimming around in Arctic waters, who kills the most seals. Unless an orca gets there first, and eats the seal AND the bear.

It is always difficult to top a baby-seal clubbing joke, but I am certainly ready to try! Here goes...

Laemkral is on a snowmobiling vacation in Alaska when the motor suddenly sputters and quits. Luckily, he is still in the parking lot of the snowmobile shop. The mechanic briefly examines the machine, then looks up and says, "You must have blown a seal." Laemkral replies, "No, no, that's just frost on my mustache."

HA!

Decortication is a nifty trick,
If you want to make seal lovers sick.
But maybe you're just a polar bear
With hollow light-reflecting hair
Who likes her breakfast "extra rare"
And knows survival isn't fair.

Yo, honestly, you people are so naive. Where did you think BABY SEAL PUDDING came from? HellooOOoo?!

fucking bleedin' heart liberals. acknolwedge that nature destroys nature. checks and balances and all that rot. a polar bear did this - i've seen it happen myself.

Yes, you've got to watch out for all those dastardly polar bears roaming the Oregon coast. Turns out Alaska isn't really their type of place.

Okay, if it was a polar bear, then all is well. However, it look like this bear didn't get much of a chance to finish their meal as most of the seal is still intact and blubberful.
George, I don't have a mustache, and it just makes you look more pathetic to make cheap jokes that take cheap shots at a person when you are not a common participant in routine commentating. Now, go back to the sandbox and play with your cousin you stupid ignorant heretic.
The following is a sincere warning and shouldn't be taken lightly. Next person who takes a similar cheap shot at me will be responsible for bringing back the prescence of the =][=. I will have been forced to do it to protect my honor and my reputation as you people just aren't giving me a chance to be silly.
You can have me as an Inquisitor investigating each and every remark for signs of heresy, which is a real drag...or you can shut the fuck up and let me be silly. Your choice.....

The great thing about Laemkral is that he doesn't take himself too seriously.

Yeah, I tend to waver back and forth, but only as the situation demands. I could be non-serious, but its hard with such direct insults towards myself. That's just not right! I want to be silly, but I will not keep doing it if I will simply be mocked.
On a side note, I'm still working on the plot between Apple, the EU, and how it involves the GMC (because everything involves the GMC). I've been running it through in my head and have the following new info to add. Clearly, the GMC seeks to destroy Apple and thus eliminate all of us from the equation by using its most humanoid operatives to further the use of metric numbers in the coding in OS X! By subtley influencing Apple into thinking this is the best way to gain controlf o the European market, it is making Apple forget that it's roots are in the American market and that many of its users reside there. This will leave us in the dust as Apple begins to market solely to Europe, causing a total Microsoft dominance here as it will no longer have to contend with Apple and will dominate the Linux market since it can focus solely on them!! In turn, the US government will be forced to use faulty Microsoft programs that will then trigger nuclear weapons that should wipe out the human race or create the appropriate conditions to do so!!!!!
However, the GMC has underground bunkers unknown to us located in each and every zoo (soon I will use the Freedom of Information Act to determine the status of the bunker in the San Diego Zoo) where a monkey or ape or other operative species of the GMC resides. A trip to an Australian zoo over the summer (don't ask, complicated) reveals that they have acquired expansive land there which is in use as a training facility for their agents.
My god.....Apple's site was wrong. Hell hasn't frozen over, Armageddon approaches!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, shut up.

You want more proof? Southern california along the coast is now covered in ash from fires up near Ventura County and Irvine. Miramar Air Station is in flames. I said Armageddon was coming, and its started here in California. I bet its working its way towards Cupertino right now.
Never believe the raving lunatic until what he says starts to happen. Then he might be onto something.

Calm down, it's not Armageddon.

I'm just punishing California for electing Arnold.

This could take awhile.

Don't listen to them Ladd, post a dead seal with a harpoon through it next Friday.

No, post a picture of naomi with a fork in her hand and blubber all over her face with a great big smile.

This was no boating accident!

This page would be more aptly titled "Laemkral's Blog" and the picture should have the title, "Laemkral's Demise." Signifying the absolute lack of humor which lurks in the head laemkral's longwinded skull.

Correction, Signifying the absolute lack of humor which lurks in laemkrals tiny skull.

Correction- Signifying the absolute lack of humor which lurks in laemkrals tiny skull.

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