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A runner-up in PvT’s 2003 Design Awards, Daniel Parnell’s iFart serves one purpose: to allow any Mac OS X user to make fart noises using their Mac. A laudable goal, but does this application cut the.. um… cheese?
Offering both pitch and volume controls, iFart bends a buzzing waveform into a fart of your choosing. With arbitrarily fine control of these parameters, the fart of your dreams is a mere matter of the patient handcrafting thereof. No longer need you shovel beans and endlessly exercise your sphincter — digital relief of the gas busywork is finally here!!
Further, with the rumored release of iFartPod technology, users will soon be able to use iFart’s revolutionary flatulence simulator engine “on the go.” And if preliminary reports are to believed, social icebreaking will soon become child’s play, with the forthcoming AutoFart and Windtriloquist technologies.
Daniel Parnell: your application cheers our ligaments and provides momentary psychological palliation for the near crippling gout that has invaded our once-vigorous intestinal tract. As such, we award a laudatory 10.7. We sincerely hope the exciting rumors prove true, and iFart someday lives up to its full elevenish potential.
Posted by ladd at September 23, 2003 06:43 PM | TrackBackfirst? Woo Hoo!
Posted by: no body on September 23, 2003 08:54 PMHmm, now if you hook up one of the FM transmitters to your iPod, & use iFartPod (presumably on the iPod) during the commute, you could conceivably share with everyone else stuck in the jam. Social icebreaking to a new level!
I don't need no new fangled kom-pew-ter program to fart fer me! I manage jeest fine by mah lonesum. Crazy Kids!
Git Off My Land!
Posted by: Nick on September 23, 2003 11:39 PMAh, but if you connected it to some motion sensors, & a Can-O-Fart (with appropriate adapters), you could sit in your easy chair (Bark-o-lounger?) & just wave your arms occasionally when you needed some fart scented air.
Perhaps that would help get the kids out of bed in the morning - no more yelling, just one wave & they all come running... :-)
Posted by: no body on September 24, 2003 10:31 AMThis guy is a god damn fucking genus! This is a developer after my own heart. iFart rips a new waste disposal unit in iPatches hands down. iFart defines the part of the digital hub that will change our lives forever.
Finally, aussie boy now has a tool to teach himself how to fart properly.
Posted by: Norm O. Tidwell on September 24, 2003 02:26 PMThe Inquisition has not much to say about this program, except that our trials and executions will be a bit more enjoyable for the accused. Least, thats what we are hoping.
Posted by: Laemkral on September 24, 2003 04:12 PMImagine a guillotine blade dropping down and right when it hits the fleshy bit of the neck *Frrrrrrrttttttt*. Oh my, yes. Gruesome, but hilarious!
Posted by: Nick on September 24, 2003 06:51 PMThe farts I create with this program don't sound nearly juicy enough. The next version needs to have a slide bar for juiciness.
Posted by: fuddes on September 25, 2003 11:42 AMHello everyone
Posted by: Comment Space Waster Pro™ 1.1 on September 25, 2003 12:34 PMiFart, therefore I am.
Posted by: Norm O. Tidwell on September 25, 2003 02:57 PMiPatch, therefore I Yarrr!
Posted by: Robo on September 25, 2003 03:38 PMI suppose you could rig a USB attachment to a spray bottle (filled with content of your choice), so that it would spray you when the fart was played. Would that be juicy enough?
Posted by: no body on September 26, 2003 12:31 AMI remain utterly unconvinced of the utility of this application.
It doesn't seem to make any distinction between a night of overconsumption of beer, hot dogs and chilli, and a hearty breakfast of fried eggs and baked beans, for example. These farts sound and smell entirely different.
And what about variations in sphinctal tension, and the resulting changes in pitch, volume and length of fart?
No, this program isn't a fart, it's a follow-through (also known as a crap!)
Marks off for no skidmarks.
Posted by: aussie boy on September 27, 2003 03:27 AM