June 10, 2003

Popcorn Screen Saver 1.0

http://perversiontracker.com/archives/popcorn-screen-saver-thumb.jpg

Clever developer: You have gazed deeply into the slimy bottomless pit of human experience and discovered an unmet need in a market niche that, let’s admit it, has long been subject to overflow. Yes, we speak of screen savers and their many bastard talking-animal permutations. This particular specimen sneakily exploits the universal human affinity for exploding food.

Launch the Popcorn Screen Saver (or PopSS to its intimates) and you can enjoy hours of nonstop corn-popping action. True, it’s way more fun to watch naked people jumping on trampolines, or our “president” trying to say the big words, or zoo monkeys hurling feces at church groups, but you can’t have everything — where would you put it?

PopSS offers a relaxing fluffy atmosphere, a handful of assorted kernel types, and a mutable popping noise to accompany its corny graphics. At first we were happily riveted but after a few more seconds, the painful emptiness of disillusion set in. Did it begin with the sad realization that we could not adjust the number of “kernals” without paying $5 (209.05 Thai Baht)? Or was it the nauseating shock of the metal “Configure” preference sheet attached to an Aqua window? In any case, it’s over.

We wanted to believe in you, PopSS, but it was not to be. Your kernels popped slowly, we played the fife lowly, we sang the Dead March as we carried you along. SkyRocket Multimedia, please accept this well-rounded 8.8 in memory of the hot buttery love we once shared.

Download Popcorn Screen Saver

Posted by naomi at June 10, 2003 06:58 PM | TrackBack
Comments

FIRST POOPY POST

Posted by: fuddes on June 10, 2003 07:49 PM

So do tell us...

What it is like to "poop" and post the results here? Are there any other secret posts you wish to tell us about?

[NOTE: The dirty editors of this site will undoubtedly edit these comments to make us seem less profane!]

Posted by: Norm O. Tidwell on June 10, 2003 09:21 PM

Listen, chaps and chapette. Forget this tasteless compote of hot-buttered sawdust with dandruff for salt. Hussle your buttocks to VersionTracker, where you'll find version 1.0 of Typewriter Keyboard.

It has everything going for it (that is, absolutely nothing), and as an added bonus, guess who has perpetrated yet another crime against humanity? The Developer Stasi at AlphaOmega ("First with the Worst"). Oh please, please, please! Rip them a new sphincter! I want to watch!

Posted by: aussie boy on June 11, 2003 07:50 AM

So just what does the program LOOK like? This I must know for I dare not trust its prescence upon my Powerbook.
Well...maybe I trust it a little...
But only because its not named the Warren Commission. NEVER trust them.

Posted by: Laemkral on June 11, 2003 02:25 PM

It looks like nothing you've ever seen, unless you have seen popcorn popping on a wholesome farm-themed background.

Trust and obey, for there's no other way.

Posted by: naomi on June 11, 2003 10:29 PM

Attention all you leaden whimsy free peabrained dunderheads: sally forth
and stay between the lines - comment pathetically on form; it's glaringly
apparent any bright original content will be over your chowderheads, you
obedient foot soldiers of the mundane and predictable. Stand under the
online sky as big brown dull turds fall into your gaping mouths. The sheep
look up - blogged down faithfully and without question, without poetry or
brilliance, dutybound and dreamfree.

Posted by: Nathan R. Kunst on June 13, 2003 04:46 AM

My first post was edited. It said "first (bad word) post" before. Granted, they seem to know that my other posts have a poop theme, and their replacement caters flatteringly to its style, but I still enjoy blatant, unnecessary profanity much better.

Posted by: fuddes on June 13, 2003 04:30 PM

Fuddes, darling, you ARE a blatant unnecessary profanity. No amount of editing will ever change that.

Posted by: naomi on June 13, 2003 05:28 PM

Ah, fuddes. Rampaging about irritating the natives again, I see. Keep up the good work, old pumpkin. Keep up the good work.

Posted by: aussie boy on June 14, 2003 07:23 AM

is it just me or can anyone else access the site. because i haven't been able to get to the site for the past few days and i want to see this.

Posted by: Brendan on June 14, 2003 07:45 PM

A zoo-monkeys-hurling-feces-at-church-groups screensaver is something for which I'd gladly pay millions of Turkish Lire. Is nobody up for the challange?

Posted by: tekmo on August 14, 2003 09:42 AM
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