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Okay, dudes, it’s Sunday afternoon and we’re feeling charitable. We have located a shiny little application that describes itself as an “alias manager” and appears to be some sort of auxiliary dock thingy. We are willing to overlook this app’s unfortunate name. We are willing to ignore the developer’s misguided use of the space shuttle as an icon. We are willing to — uh oh, wait a minute — the doughnut-heroin high just wore off.
Ha ha! What the hell is that icon anyway — Challenger or Columbia? It’s hard to determine what kind of wacko message is intended here. Amazing speed, or the catastrophic scattering of body parts across nine midwestern states? Incredible power, or the big freaking fireball that left a generation of young people deathly afraid of self-lighting charcoal? Helpful Hint: It’s not the speed. Or the power.
Droopit Utilities (known to its intimates as Mister Droopy Drawers) suffers from window movement slower than a badger’s bowels in February. It has two options labeled “magnetic effects” and “iconophobic” that stubbornly remain, despite our anxious attempts to rouse them, as inert as George W. Bush in a helium chamber — a brief intermission for happy contemplation of that image — sigh! — and its about box is uglier than monkeypox on a giant rat’s hairy ass. Its coprophagous interface is graced with flashing buttons that say “LOCK” and “UNLOCK” for dimly-lit reasons that we are loathe to revisit. No, it is too soon. We need time to recover.
Mister Droopy Drawers even has a capacious drawer that pops out whenever the unsuspecting user mouses over a pulsing button labeled (sacre bleu!) with the ¶ symbol. However, the ¶ button does not close the drawer again, because that would be too obvious. Finally, it changes some of the menu choices to French (Masquer Droopit? Oui!) while leaving others in English to confuse the enemy spies.
Mister Droopy Drawers, you have gone too far. It’s bad enough that you tried to French-kiss us in the backseat, but then you demand $12.50 (10.6883 euros) for this slobbery app? Qu’est-ce l’enfer que c’est, cochon? Nu donnons un 10.8. C’est tout.
Posted by naomi at June 8, 2003 03:40 PM | TrackBackis this the hell that this is? somebody set up us the cochon!
Posted by: devil on June 8, 2003 04:56 PMI do speak french and I don't understand this sentence: "Qu'est-ce l'enfer que c'est, cochon?" What's the meaning of this? The last sentence makes sense, though. Well, "nu" should be "nous" but it's OK.
Posted by: haha on June 8, 2003 06:51 PMShut up, smarty pants.
Posted by: fuddes on June 8, 2003 07:39 PMMonkeypox! I knew there was a conspiracy all along.
Posted by: Double Worsted on June 9, 2003 02:12 AMQu’est-ce l’enfer que c’est, cochon ?
What the hell is this, pig?
Not any worse than "Coca Cola Light" for Diet Coke, after all...
- "How do they call a Big Mac?"
- "A Big Mac's a Big Mac, but there it's 'Le' Big Mac"
:-)
Posted by: dda on June 9, 2003 06:13 AMPardon my French.
Hoo hoo.
Coprophagous is such a good word. So is coprolite.
Posted by: Coprolite on June 9, 2003 10:53 AMMonkeypox is indeed here. The monkeys have allies in the prarie dogs!
http://startribune.com/stories/1556/3925802.html
Posted by: fuddes on June 9, 2003 12:10 PMWhat is Pulp Fiction
Posted by: jeopardy on June 9, 2003 02:52 PMThere is no conspiracy.
"Je ne comprends pas ce que vous voulez dire," as they say in Guangdong.
Au revoir ...
Posted by: aussie boy on June 9, 2003 10:24 PMLa publicite te manipule. Can I supersize that for you, sir? No, I'm an egghead nurd, I'll just have some...erapaund meat.
Posted by: Nathan R. Kunst is a morman on June 11, 2003 04:48 AMhey guys you have nothing to do in your life except that ????
Posted by: on June 13, 2003 07:03 AMWe write to you to submit the fact that the problem you talked about has been solved lately: some icons did not show properly on the palette after a drag&drop because those one did not have a mask icon associated with the plain icon. It happens sometimes. In version 1.06 we put a set of default icons to display a convenient palette in those (seldom) cases: problem has been apparently solved that way (?). Palette will always show icons: in any case, for any file or application, may they own a mask icon or not.
In fact all the problems you talked about have been solved (or fixed if you prefer) in version 1.06 of Droopit: it is talking english, plain english. Not from Oxford and not from Shakespeare , but a proper english: we hope so. Rather proper than the one you are speaking here which we think is coming from the deeply dirty and deeply violent neigbourhood of this big deeply polluted town where you live. Of big country.
Yet, there is one problem which is not solved . What is your name and surname , future Pulitzer price ?? Are you lacking of courage to put a firm (or signature) ??
We found you one here: "raclure de fond de bidet".
We advise you to buy a good french-english dictionnary to understand the deep meaning of this deep sentence issued from our best poets and writers. Of France of course.
By the way, there will be no more french kisses of course, but for people like you kickings in your ass. The job you are doing here is pretty disgusting my fellow: you realize that ? See you in Paris, buddy !!
Chinese proverb: if you don't speak swahili, do not try to make people think that you can speak swahili.
Posted by: on June 16, 2003 04:29 PMthese are opinions, not arguments. That is the problem here: nonetheless a good idea ... Who pay you for this job ?
Posted by: on June 19, 2003 06:29 PMSale petit morveux
Posted by: on August 26, 2003 08:41 AM