shall I be first
or shall I be last
to post the first poop
on this morass

Holy $hit that was funny. I hope ladd didn't hurt himself.

To Pooper

You are the first
and also the last
for though your post precedes
it's just so much gas

gentle enough for
rixster, but not strong enough
for a woman

Oh my god that's funny.

"AxZ3qYhMBH8huNc6u2rzGpvqiZsV" is more than five syllables.

It is too 5 syllables if pronounced as "shoveitupyourass".

Actually, though, it needs to be 4 syllables, not 5...

Haiku are for sissies, like them samurai guys running around in silk dresses all the time. Sonnets are for real men, you know, with the velvet doublets, and tights, and codpieces so tight that you can see the the vein pulsing. Oh, yes...

Dead dingo's donger
With requisite syllables
Is still a bollocks.

Hey, this game is fun!

Haiku are these not.
They involve nature not so
Called are they senryu.

Dead dingo's donger
Is part of Nature's wonder
So this is haiku.

I got to say the DDD thing twice! Ha!

Señor Leibnitz: Yes! We are a pack of sissies and we are not ashamed. Our next review will be an elaborately costumed interpretive dance entitled "Subconscious Thought: Noncognitive Experience: Dreaming of Gigantic Penises: Life is a Metaphor for Death."

Herr derPlau: That one was mine. Ha ha! IN YOUR FACE, LADD!

Monsieur Boy: You are the reason we don't let our mother read this site.

To all:

Yes, I did in fact injure myself taking all these screenshots, and beating the haikus out of Naomi, Jan, and a Highly Florid Secret Contributor Chosen At Random In The Grocery Store Cleaning Supplies Aisle. The exact nature of my injury involves wood veneer, an unnamed but highly excitable appendage, and hot glue.

But we will never admit that we were paid large quantities of unmarked, easily liquidated pudding cups, by a high-ranking official in the Nigerian government as incentive to deliver this special report to your sweaty little olfactory bulbs. Oh no! That would be too obvious.

My olfactory bulbs are *not* sweaty -- they GLOW! I'm also big boned, what with all the calcium in the tubs of iced cream that I eat. Nor am I frigid, it's just that aussie boy can't excite me because being with him is literally a "shrimp on the barbie". Literally.

It is obvious that I am the only funny guy here and anything posted after my post is obviously NOT funny. The proof is shown below!

FUCK YOU ALL

Luffarschack is not a "shabby pente clone", the game is older than pente and it's rules are a subset of pente's rules.

Oh, my! But if life is a metaphor for gigantic penises dying than I need adjust my codpiece! Alors!

Rix, are you familiar with a condition known as Tourette syndrome? For example, if your outbursts of gratuituous crudity are accompanied by a great deal of bodily twitching, you may be in the grips of this terrible condition. If so, might I humbly and respectfully suggest medical attention forthwith. If, however, your post is merely an attention-getting device ... Well, how can I argue with that? We're all here for one reason or another. Cuss away, poo-mouth! Nobody's listening anyway!

The obvious punch line to Rix's comment is, "That was NOT funny!?" (See, I told you so!)

I personally don't see how Rix will "fuck us all" since we all live on different parts of the planet. Again, some of us may not be very desirable play toys for Rix (including piglet Bob) and may even gross him out. Hey Rix, how do you feel about genital warts and naked wildebeests?

As a practical solution to your inability to fuck us all, maybe you want to begin by choosing a smaller target audience. So may I suggest in nicest way possible, "GO FUCK YOURSELF." I think you will find it a rather enjoyable experience and get you a spot on the six o'clock news.

Norm, how pleasant to find you here again this evening, no doubt in the grips of a glue-sniffing freak-out, as usual. Your treatise on the potential re-targetting of the "f" word is delicious in its logic. Indeed, you have unerringly found the fundamental flaw in the highly capitalised outburst of Mr Rix.

Our angry young person clearly needs to focus his pain, rather than spreading around like so much manure fertiliser. I suggest that he might like to kick a politician. It will make him feel better at so many levels: the simple pleasure of actually kicking a politician; the performance of a much-needed public service; and the satisfaction of being justifyingly angry when the secret-service gorillas drag him into the back of a big, black van and stamp his obviously hot and inflamed spleen into an oozing, squishy pulp.

And there might even be some satisfaction for the rest of us from the van thing ...

Mr. aussie boy,

Actually, I think Rix is some kind of evil genius. He gave a response to my previous post that was perfect. It was short and to the point and was pretty emotionally offensive. In this way, "it was NOT funny" (in a laughter sort of way). On the other hand, it shows great insight to my whacked out mind in that it fell perfectly into the double ambiguity of the punch line. Thus I think you fell prey to the evil genius he displayed and sucked you in. In other words, he "fucked you over" good. How does it feel? Do you want a cigarette?

Personally, I don't think Rix is that smart since he wants to fuck us all. Geez, not even I would consider banging piglet Bob since I much more prefer wildebeests and sheep, if you know what I mean.

So I say let Rix be Rix, for it gives us folk who only want to just shag there significant other something to aspire for. Think about it, would you not want to fuck the world three times over if you could (including all the little furry creatures).

I feel the need for a picture of naked wildebeest with genital warts! Where is naomi when you need her.

Norm O. -- or may I call you Normo? -- once again the flawless pearls of your logic lie strung around my neck like a string of flawless pearls around my neck. How can I argue with a man whose stilleto-sharp mind pierces to the very heart of any argument, leaving the rest of us breathless and slightly wounded in the chest cavity with a nasty stab wound. Oh how I shall miss you, when my highly trained flock of killer, razor-beaked Sulfur-Crested Cockatoos, which should be ringing your doorbell (or banging on your knockers) any second now ...

mmm confort...

Aussie boy -- or may I call you assie hole? -- once again the flawless turds of your logic lie strung around my ass like a string of flawless dried flaky bits around my ankles.

To the issue at hand...

You wrote, "highly trained flock of killer, razor-beaked Sulfur-Crested Cockatoos...banging on your knockers." Oh gee wiz, that is all I need is a bunch of crazed birds pecking at my tits! My nipples are very sensitive requiring constant rubbing, if you know what I mean. Now you send a crazed birds to suck the life out of man boobies!? I like my man boobies since it is what attracts those naked wildebeests to me.

Now would be a good time for a colorful metaphor. Where is Rix or Rose when you need them.

All I can say is mmm comfort indeed!

I think all of you, especially the young man from Australia and Mr. Tidwell, need professional help.
Tell me about your mother.

Mother? I want to know about there daddys.
By the by... Who is you daddy..?

Why should I tell you about my mother? You will only go out and sex with her! Speaking frankly, I will have sex with her first before I allow you you to have sex with her.

Hmmmmm...that didn't sound right, did it!?

OK, would you settle for having sex with my cat?

Very interesting...

Cats, mothers, wildebeast, dingos, sheep, Sulfur-Crested Cockatoos...

I am beinging to see a pattern.

Tell me about your dreams.

One time I freamt that I was a special cast member of Hogan's Heros but that they had to cut my character because he was racey. Would that mean I think I'm fat or that I hate my parents? Also, how can I blame this dream on society?

MEMO

To: Norm O. Tidwell

From: aussie boy

Re: "banging on your knockers"

Message: How do you spell "double entendre"?

Cute. Glad to see you've had fun. But the set stands - it's only the first year with NS and Obj_C. If you want to see what the idea is all about, visit http://radsoft.net. If you visit that, if you Google my name, and that kind of thing doesn't make any difference to you, then yes - screw you all. Apple is such a Birkenstock company anyway, doomed to the margins. You have to get effective to make market, and fancy menus won't do it - efficiency will. Xfile is still, albeit under development, a heck of a hack of a program. Check the file size and watch the speed - and if you still want to click and drool with the Finder, then no greater punishment can be meted out than to let you continue - even as the pitiable 5% that is, at best, Cupertino's dwindles and dwindles and dwindles until you all become a cultural oddity.

I'm already a cultural oddity

Not necessarily, Bob! empire poker can also be played in other online poker sites, also at empire poker!

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