War is not healthy for fancy chickens and other living things.
Sponsored by
L337.com
Posing as a simple utility for managing mailing lists, this thundering baloney pony secretly hungers for your hot juicy email addresses. Providing delicious features like bulk remove, eMailer makes it easy to dominate your cowering vinyl-clad lists of addresses. If they’ve been especially naughty, it can even blacklist them until they scream for mercy. Or, if you prefer, it can make your spam fantasies come true by filling your inbox with pulsating slabs of unidentifiable meat.
This app’s strong but silent interface is SO HARD to use, and it has so many buttons — taut, silky, strokable buttons — and it just makes me so confused. I think I’ll lie down for awhile and touch myself all over. I just can’t stop thinking about your ENORMOUS window that can’t be made smaller, no matter how much I try.
Yes, yes, you well-developed hunk of code! Take my precious 10.8 and leave me naked (well, except for the thong) and alone (well, except for Raoul and Tiffany), stripped of my last thread of dignity (well, not that I ever really had any), and I hope you’re happy with what you’ve done to me, you massively endowed beast! If only your powerful glutes weren’t so lusciously sculpted, I would hate you now.
(You have my number. Call me. Mmmrrrrrooowwl.)
Posted by at May 29, 2003 12:17 PM | TrackBackOK, now you geys are freaking me out
Posted by: Wings of Lice on May 29, 2003 01:54 PMguys, I mean
Posted by: Lica Wing again on May 29, 2003 01:54 PMThat was fucking awesome
Posted by: fuddes on May 29, 2003 01:57 PMfap fap fap. . .
Posted by: fapalicious on May 29, 2003 02:40 PMPiglet Bob scares me, mommy.
Make the bad man go away.
Outmoded? Outmoded? Version Tracker Pro is what is outmoded, buggy piece of ...
... never agner your stalker Ladd, it always comes with a price.
Posted by: Anastasios Booby Chalcedonian on May 29, 2003 03:41 PMCreepy review. Great icon (even if it violates Aqua GUI).
Posted by: The Entity on May 29, 2003 04:05 PMOoh, you could've gotten a free Pro acccount, and been a beta tester for 3.0, but now you've blown it. Perhaps you should try "agner" management classes.
Posted by: Ladd on May 29, 2003 04:39 PMPiglets have no sense of decency but we always forgive them because of their little pink curly tails and also because we know they are destined for the bacon factory and, well, okay, we sometimes feel a tiny bit guilty about that.
I heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't care for music that much, do you.
It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth,
The minor fall and the major live,
The baffled king composes Hallelujah ...
What it the devil! Belvedere, how many times have I ... What?
Oh! Ahem!
Good morning, Perversiontracker. You caught me singing in the shower. Look, how about I go and get dressed -- did you lay out my skin-tight latex Batman suit, Belvedere? -- and report back to you later. Toodles!
Belvedere, there is no need to dry that particular part of my anatomy. Don't argue -- just stick to the external bits!
Posted by: aussie boy on May 29, 2003 06:42 PMI think I'm in love.
Is it so wrong to love a pig?
I wish I was in New Zealand, THEY would understand...
Posted by: Leibnitz, N. on May 29, 2003 07:31 PMAfter reading that, I need a cigarette . . . and a shower.
And I don't even smoke
Posted by: Durf on May 29, 2003 11:10 PMUgh, I mean LICE (checking comments many hours later)
As in
LICE CAPADES
js
Posted by: Lice Master III on May 29, 2003 11:53 PMQ: What does this application have in common with my chest?
A: Taut, silky, strokable buttons.
Posted by: aussie boy on May 30, 2003 12:03 AMSilly donkey, email is for kids!
Posted by: Double Worsted on May 30, 2003 02:54 AMBacon is too expensive. Ham-and-water product is better...y'know, spongier.
Posted by: Irving 143 on May 30, 2003 03:04 PMGood to see aussie boy back in his old form.
Seemed like he'd just been phoning it in lately.
Now really, aussie boy, don't you think it's high time
you had Belvedere take those pants to the cleaners?
Today's review will be late it seems as if in "agner" dropped a weapon of mass dectruction on Ladd's house. Oops. Sorry about that. Hope you can use the library's computers Ladd.
Posted by: Anastasios Booby Chalcedonian on May 30, 2003 04:17 PMRobo, you old devil! How I love it when my multiple nemeses come tapping on my window, begging for a blood match in the festering, muddy courtyard of Schloss PerversionTracker!
I must confess that of late, I have been a little distracted by life outside PerversionTracker. You know how it goes -- career, family, blah blah blah.
But I've strapped on my 16th-century Japanese Tokugawa fighting spurs and larded up my thighs. Lay on, you blackguards! I'll see your heads on stakes!
Posted by: aussie boy on May 30, 2003 07:33 PMNice Jeff Buckley reference aussie boy. Ah, you know your life a bit screwed up when you read a review about a spammer in the form of a porn spam, think it's funny, and then read a post quoting a fairly obscure dead singer while singing in the shower talking about Belvedere at 12:30 while watching star trek...I need to go to bed.
Posted by: Will on May 31, 2003 02:34 AMOh, I don't know, Will. Sounds like you're on a bloody good thing from where I'm sitting.
Poor old Buckley! If only he'd worn his floaties. He'd only just begun, really ...
Ah, Belvedere! Sop up these tears will you, there's a chap. And break out the Old El Jockrot tequila. I need to cry and scream and vomit.
Posted by: aussie boy on May 31, 2003 08:11 AMAnd to cap it all off, Jeff Buckley took his final swim a few miles west of where I live. Oh, Mississippi, come and wash my pain away...
Posted by: naomi on May 31, 2003 04:57 PMHe's not the first to end his days in the mighty river, and won't be the last.
Vale, JB.
Mind you, all this sentiment has clouded the fact that Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah" -- which is never far from that strange part of the brain that fills your head with music -- is a cover. It's a Leonard Cohen song, from the album Various Positions (mid-1980s?) ...
I did my best; it wasn't much.
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch.
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you.
And even though it all went wrong,
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
with nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah!
But PerversionTracker is no discography, and no repository of obituary either. It is a place of wit and witlessness, of clowning, sarcasm and flagellation (self and otherwise). On with your lives, people! And do put a smile on those lips ... Shall I fart? That's always good for a laugh!
Posted by: aussie boy on May 31, 2003 07:11 PM"He's not the first... and won't be the last."
Oooh, that sounds like a death threat to me. Yes, yes, I see it all now. It would be so diabolically simple to lure me onto the bridge, perhaps with a promise of hot tongue kissing or Krispy Kreme doughnuts, and then? A well-timed shove, a gurgling scream, a quiet splash in the roiling dark water far far below...
Note to self: hire bodyguard, change name, move to Denmark.
Oh, sweet and vicious naomi. I would never lure you to your doom on a bridge -- and certainly not on the promise of baked goods full of artificial chemicals.
No, I'd make it a riverboat, where the paddlewheel would make sure and certain that ...
Ah, but that is far too hideous a fate for one whose keyboard produces such dulcet words of sharpened steel to pierce the bowels of those who beard her in her den. Who am I to deprive the world of the Princess of Perversion?
No, you shall live to fight on many a long day, and wit and perversion shall mingle blood and sweat on the field of honour until we are old and not so hearty. The mantle shall pass on, and we shall sit within our wrinkled skins and laugh at the follies of our youth.
Or get really, really pissed on gin and trash the nursing home on our electric wheelchairs. Whatever ...
Posted by: aussie boy on May 31, 2003 07:43 PMExcellent review PerversionTracker! We'll see if we can take some of your comments to heart and make our ENORMOUS window resizable (for those with smaller screens), and remove a few of our taut, silky, strokable buttons.
Thanks again,
Kevin
Hi all,
Just a note to tell you that eMailer has been updated to version 2.5, now available on our website and on VersionTracker. Take a look at the changes that PerversionTracker has inspired...
Also, if you'd like to avoid any email that eMailer sends out, you can put your email address on an opt-out list at http://www.wristondevelopment.com/optout.html.
Thanks,
Kevin Wriston
http://www.wristondevelopment.com